Things Women Hear in the Church


I ran across two different articles today, each of which would have probably seemed only more appalling to me if they weren't simply parroting things I heard growing up as a conservative evangelical.The first was called True Love Doesn't Wait, written by a married father of six. The basic premise? Church singles need to stop waiting for true love and just get married already. The author responds to a blog post made popular in the fury of Christian blogging on purity that followed a post on … [Read more...]

Homeschooling under the Influence


After I wrote my posts on academics and socialization, I realized that there is another way homeschooling affected my life---and it's no less significant. In fact, it's a whole lot more significant. Quite simply, homeschooling affected my life because it changed my parents. When I was born, my parents were fairly ordinary evangelical Christians. That didn't last. Their involvement in the homeschool movement introduced them to new ideas they had not before been exposed to---ideas put forward by … [Read more...]

A Documentary Look at Courtship


There's a documentary being made about the courtship of a young woman named Kelly. Kelly's story is interesting for a number of reasons (for example, she was raised in a secular home, converted to Christianity, discovered and embraced the Christian Patriarchy movement, and then, in her thirties, found "spiritual parents" to walk her through the courtship process). Let me start by giving you the documentary's trailer:The documentary is still in production, and its website is actually a … [Read more...]

Removing the Romance from Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice

As the leaders of Christian homeschool movement embrace the (supposedly) virtuous past as a contrast to our (allegedly) hedonistic presence - emphasizing female chastity and male chivalry and even, yes, holding historically themed tea parties - they often seem to zero in on the nineteenth and early twentieth century as a sort of ideal era. And yet, this fascination with the Victorian era, along with the years immediately before and after it, often includes an embrace of literature that seems to … [Read more...]

The Real World Damage of the Purity Culture


I frequently get emails regarding the things I have written about the purity culture (that world of purity balls, courtship, and emphasis on emotional and physical virginity). Sometimes these emails are heartbreaking. There's this, for example, from a woman who grew up as the oldest daughter in another large Quiverfull family, and got married young through a parent-guided courtship (for an example of how courtship is generally practiced, read this story): Things are pretty rough. My husband is … [Read more...]

What I Learned from Joshua Harris

I kissed dating goodbye

With his books I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris singlehandedly made the word "courtship" popular in mainstream evangelical circles. Yesterday I responded to a post another blogger wrote about what she learned from Joshua Harris. Today I'm following up by discussing what I learned from Joshua Harris. I don't own a copy of Harris' book at the moment, but given that this post is about the messages his book gave me at the time, not simply a review of his book, I think that's … [Read more...]

Do Joshua Harris’s Books Contain “Valuable Advice”?

boy meets girl 2

Several weeks ago I had a twitter exchange with fellow blogger Dianna Anderson:After this exchange, Jessica of Faith Permeating Life, a blogger who defines herself as a Christian feminist, took issue with Dianna and my statements. She responded with a post called  "What I Learned from Joshua Harris" in which she argued that Harris' books taught her many valuable things, and stated that she continues to recommend them to Christian couples. In this blog post I'm going to respond to J … [Read more...]