CTBHHM: On Being Your Husband’s “Playmate”

playmate 2

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 42-44This section follows Debi's story about the time Mike tried to show off, ended up spilling a sack of garbage, and then marched off in embarrassment leaving her to clean it up. The moral of Debi's story was the last part, where she attempts to show that if wives just humor their husbands' juvenile tendencies and approach life with humor their marriages will be full of fun, joy, and laughter. In this passage she moves from her specific anecdote t … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: In Which Mike Spills the Garbage

spilled garbage

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 40-42Debi's goal in this passage is to show how thanksgiving produces joy. She starts with a story called "My Jolly Playmate." This story is sort of divided into three parts: the first part continues Debi's pattern of urging women to just be happy rather than actually dealing with things that irritate or bother them; the second part involves a heavy dose of gender essentialism; and the third part takes a bizarre turn as Debi makes light of the idea of marital … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Contentment Is All That Matters

head in sand

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 35-38This section is titled "A Thankful Spirit." Debi begins by contrasting two examples. Here is the first one: I know women who remain perpetually discontented because they must live with stained carpet and damaged furniture. Some women feel their family is in desperate straits if they cannot afford to serve fresh broccoli and salad. Tension rules their home. Their sad, withdrawn faces reflect their suffering. They cultivate expressions of grief, re … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Smile, Giggle, and Simper


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 28-32The rest of Debi's chapter on "a merry heart" is taken up with her response to a letter from a follower. Debi spends four full pages responding. The longer I read, the sadder I got. I apologize in advance.First, the letter: Dear Mrs. Pearl,I am going nuts. My husband has been in an emotional affair with his secretary. He says he is over it now, but I do not trust him. He gave her a small box of chocolates for Valentine's. He has never remembered … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: One Ugly Hillbilly


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 27-28Throughout her book, Debi's attitude toward women is bizarre. In this passage, Debi tells a story to illustrate her point about the importance of having a cheerful spirit. But like all of the stories Debi tells, this one comes off as just, well, off somehow. A few years back there was an overweight hillbilly woman who worked in the local store of our hometown. Every time we went into the hardware store, several men would be standing around the counter … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: In Which Debi Almost Gets Something Right

flirty preschooler

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 26-27It is possible to find a worthwhile message in an otherwise atrocious book. I read Debi Pearl when I was first married - it was a wedding gift - and while I thought it was hogwash from start to finish (I had started questioning everything over a year before this, remember), I did take one thing away from it and apply it to my life: the power of a cheerful spirit. No one likes a continually sour attitude or pessimistic outlook. A cheerful spirit is … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: What is a “help meet”? (In the KJV)


Created To Be His Help Meet, p. 24Debi finishes this her first chapter with a memo on the background of the word "help meet." I sort of feel like this should have come earlier, given that most people I've mentioned the book to find the term odd. The word help meet appears in the KJB just two times - Gen. 2:18 and 20. However, it is the translation of one word - ayzer - which is found 21 times in the Hebrew Bible. Other than being translated "help meet" two times, it is translated just plain … [Read more...]