Whose Choice?

When I was in high school, my father told me he wouldn’t be in the business of finding a husband for me. He knew other men did it, he told me, but he wouldn’t. Why? For two reasons: First, because I, not he, was the one who would have to live with the guy, and second, because if things turned out badly he didn’t want to have to live with the guilt of having chosen wrongly for me. He told me that I would need to find a husband myself.That said, my father also gave me a list of requirements and … [Read more...]


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Girls Gone Extreme

I admit it. Some of what happened I did to myself. I took what my parents taught me and ran with it, embracing Christian Patriarchy and all that it included almost more than they did. My like-minded friends and I pushed each other to be more extreme. I embraced it, all of it, with all of my being. It came to define me, who I was, and what I wanted for my life. It shaped how I saw the world, how I saw myself, my dreams, hopes, and everything about me. I wish with all my heart I hadn’t thrown m … [Read more...]


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Daughters Have Brains

My parents think I don’t have a brain.It didn’t used to be this way. When I was a kid, they fostered my love of politics and theology. They loved that I thought about everything, including such issues as gay marriage, abortion, the nature of salvation, how to fix welfare, and solving our nation’s fiscal problems. Of course, never having been exposed to any arguments besides theirs, I always agreed with my parents on these issues. Yet my parents saw this as evidence of true independent think … [Read more...]


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Dutiful Daughters

Whether one watches the Duggars’ TLC show or reads books by the Botkin sisters, one cannot escape the reality that dutiful daughters of Christian Patriarchy do exist. Heck, they even blog. I used to be one of them. For nearly twenty years, I was a dutiful daughter of patriarchy, and more than that, I was a happy and contented daughter of patriarchy. I was in some sense a poster child of the movement. What enabled me to be such a happy and dutiful daughter of patriarchy? While I cannot u … [Read more...]


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Feminism: The Problem or the Answer?

Last week the Wall Street Journal published an article called “The War Against Girls”. While it deals with the selective abortion of girls in third world countries, some of the issues involved are very pertinent to discussions of patriarchy and feminism. Here are some excerpts from the article: Mara Hvistendahl is worried about girls. Not in any political, moral or cultural sense but as an existential matter. She is right to be. In China, India and numerous other countries (both developing and d … [Read more...]


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Diminished Dreams

Many of those in the Christian Patriarchy movement believe that girls should not go to college. Thankfully, my parents did not believe this. My parents both had college degrees, and they believed that a good education was extremely important. Therefore, my homeschool program was rigorous and quite adequate, and I left for college on an academic scholarship. It sounds like I escaped the detrimental effects Christian Patriarchy can have on girls’ educations, doesn’t it? Don’t kid yourself. … [Read more...]


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It’s about the Daughters

When it comes to the multitude of problems with Christian Patriarchy, it is the position of the daughters that I am most passionate about. The patriarch has it pretty good - he’s the one who gets to call the shots. The sons usually don’t have it so bad either - they’re patriarchs in training. The mothers may spend their lives having baby after baby and they may believe that they’re to submit to the patriarch in everything, but they generally chose this life at some point, and knew what life was l … [Read more...]


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