The Courtship Mask

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I recently posted excerpts from an article written by Shoshanna Pearl, which began like this: When I got married, I expected my husband to be that alpha male that my dad was; but he was not. We would be driving down the road and he would say, “Where do you want to eat?” I would smile and say, “Wherever you want to eat,” expecting him to quickly turn in to this or that place without hesitation. Instead, he would smile and say, “I don’t care. I want to take you where you want to go. Where would yo … [Read more...]

Growing Up Jeub

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I have written several blog posts about the Duggars and their beliefs, and each time have had commenters defend the Duggars and tell me that their family must be happy and functional because they look happy and functional on screen. This is a problem. As I've noted, the Duggars follow and promote the parenting methods of religious leaders who teach that corporal punishment must be used to break children's wills, that children should be required to smile and not allowed to show the slightest neg … [Read more...]

An Open Letter to Duggar Defenders

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More than two years ago I wrote a blog post titled My Concerns about the Duggars. To this day it continues getting hundreds of hits daily, along with the random comment. Probably half of the comments left on it defend the Duggars as upright, responsible people raising healthy, well-adjusted young people. These comments often lash out against me, calling me bitter and so forth. I've often thought of responding to these comments with further blog posts, but so far I haven't.Today that changes. … [Read more...]

You Don’t Write Your Kids’ Lives (They Do)

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Good gracious, I just came upon a Babble article titled Jessa Duggar Will Have a Chaste Courtship---And My Kids Will, Too. With all due respect, author Kacy Faulconer has no idea whether or not her children will have "chaste courtships." My parents said their children would have chaste courtships too, and guess what? I didn't! Kacy can give her children whatever advice she chooses, but ultimately, once they're adults, she cannot control their choices.I talk a lot here on the blog about the … [Read more...]

The Duggars and Bill Gothard’s Sex Regulations

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It's Valentine's Day, the Duggars have offered some tips for keeping the sexy going. Most of the tips are fairly conventional---things like date night and keeping romance alive---but the first two tips are different. What struck me about them is that they cannot be understood outside of the cultural context I write about here so often.Here's the first one tip: 1. Say yes to sex, even when you're tired. Michelle says a friend gave her advice to live by before she and Jim Bob married in 1984: … [Read more...]


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