You’ve been brainwashed; or, following after fleshly lusts

Sometimes, from time to time, a fundamentalist or evangelical child grows up to question and reject her parents' beliefs and values. The funny thing is, this shift in belief is rarely seen as a legitimate rethinking and change of belief. Oh, no! Far from it! After all, how could a child raised on the Truth (tm) go on to reject the Truth (tm)? How could a child raised to know Jesus and the amazing life he brings go on to reject him and his gift? It's incomprehensible! And so, an explanation must … [Read more...]

Courtship, Part 1: Eroding Girls’ Self Confidence

When I was in high school, I looked forward to the day when I would take part in a parent-guided courtship. It's what I wanted. The idea that I could go out myself and find my own spouse was incomprehensible to me. In fact, I even said that I would be open to an arranged marriage. More than that, there was even a point where I wanted an arranged marriage. Why, you ask? Let me explain.The idea that adult daughters should obey their fathers - an idea central to Christian Patriarchy - is … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: The Family Responds to Questioning

familiy q1

How did your parents and siblings respond to you questioning/rejecting their beliefs? How did those you grew up with respond? Joe: When I met, Kristine, the woman I have been married to for almost 11 years, I had already left my singly mother who very sincerely and deeply followed Bill Gothard.  Regardless of her lifestyle. I still felt that I needed to be completely open with her about everything in my life.  Knowing she would be hateful toward Kristine, I told her anyway - and she was h … [Read more...]

Focus on the Family on emotional abuse

I recently found an entry on emotional abuse on Focus on the Family's website. The article was clearly intended to help the church to identify, target, and reach out to women in emotionally abusive relationships. What's ironic is how often parents in Focus on the Family's brand of conservative Christianity, and especially in the even more conservative Christian Patriarchy or Quiverfull movements, employ the exact tactics described here as they attempt to keep their children in the … [Read more...]

Worthwhile Reads: Emotional Incest

Inspired by my series on emotional incest a few weeks ago, Sierra of The Phoenix and the Olive Branch recently wrote three posts on the topic herself. By the way, I can't praise Sierra and her writing enough. I really can't. If you haven't perused her blog yourself, you should. Start with the three posts I just mentioned:Emotional Incest: The Junior WifeEmotional Incest: The Mama's Boy and the Other WifeEmotional Incest: The Bottom Line … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 4: The Pain

In Part 1 I discussed the definition of emotional incest, in Part 2 I discussed its relationship with the stay-at-home daughter dynamic of the Christian Patriarchy movement, and in Part 3 I discussed other ways emotional incest can occur as well. I am now going to turn to the problems and pain emotional incest causes.Emotional incest causes a multitude of problems, but I'm only going to address the three I see as most significant: first, it creates a relationship triangle between the parents … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 3: Daddy’s Little Princess and Mommy’s Big Boy

In Part 1 I looked at the definition of emotional incest and in Part 2 I looked at how integral father/daughter emotional incest is to the Christian Patriarchy movement. I want to take a moment here to point out some other ways emotional incest can play out, both in families not involved with the Christian Patriarchy movement and between mothers and sons in families in the Christian Patriarchy movement.First, this from Wikipedia: Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman describes psychic in … [Read more...]


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