Raised Quiverfull: Struggling with Questions

What did you struggle with most when you were in the midst of questioning and/or leaving Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology? What was the hardest part? Joe: Hell.  I struggled with that for all of five minutes.  Then, it didn't matter anymore.  There was no proof of anything.  So, if a god required me to believe in what was not firmly believable, I couldn't be required to get it right.  The other thing I struggled with was my guilt for having sex before marriage.  Sure, it was with my fut … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Asking the First Question

What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience? Joe: I can't put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and fundamentalist Christianity, all the way to a belief in god.  I reject it all now.  But, with no further ado, I will construct a list of a few happenings that caused me to reject everything. 1.  My … [Read more...]

Christian Patriarchy: Fear, fear, FEAR

I keep meaning to write a post or two about why I would have been willing, as a teen, to have my father choose a husband for me. My father was uncomfortable with the idea of an arranged marriage and said he wouldn't do that, and that left me a bit disappointed. From my perspective today my teenage perspective on this issue appears horrifying, but I had my reasons.Christian Patriarchy is built on making women afraid of men. Women are told that they need protectors. That they are weak and … [Read more...]

I’m still scared of public schools

I realized something the other day. I'm still scared of public schools. I'm not talking about a fear that is intellectually based, or a fear that I see as rational. I'm talking about the sort of fear that comes on you unaware, catches you in its nets, and pulls you down. I'm talking about the kind of fear that bubbles up from inside, from years of habit, from patters of thought you can't seem to end. I'm talking about the kind of fear that is reflexive and intuitive.I was taking my daughter … [Read more...]

Oh the Dangers of Daycare!

I grew up being taught that daycare was the place where selfish moms go to abandon their children. I thought children who were in daycare were miserable, deprived, and stunted. And the same went for preschool as well. I believed that being carefully tended by a state at home mom was the only right option, the only wan to turn out healthy and well-adjusted children, and the only godly option.And then I reached a point where I had no option but to send my daughter to daycare. I was nervous. I … [Read more...]

“I don’t like those loud voices”: Children and Demons

"Mommy, I don't like those loud voices."I turned to my daughter, sitting in her car-seat behind me."What loud voices?""Those loud voices."She was pointing behind her, toward the rear windshield. There were no loud voices. I had the radio on quietly, but there is no rear speaker. … [Read more...]

“There’s something I need to talk to you about”

When someone says "there's something I need to talk to you about" to me, my body goes into "fight or flight" mode. The same thing happens when someone says "there's a question I've been meaning to ask you." The adrenaline, the dread in my bones, the palpable fear I suddenly feel. "What did I do now?" I ask myself as I try not to freak out, "What am I in trouble for?"My husband accidentally used both of these phrases a few days ago, and it elicited the exact response listed above even though … [Read more...]