Some Thoughts on Child Custody

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Blogger Sheldon recently responded to my post on why my son Bobby needs feminism too, and while he praised the basic core of my post, he added this concern: She talks about patriarchy being causing problems for men, but I notice this problem has been overlooked (whether intentionally or unintentionally, I don't know).The divorce/family court system in the US very rarely gives full custody to men, or at the very least a decent shared custody agreement, very likely because of th … [Read more...]

The Intersection of Guns, Gender, and Violence

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The Sandy Hook shooting has brought guns into the spotlight once again, and as I've read about this issue in the blogs I follow I've been fascinated by the different ways in which gender has been brought into this discussion. I'm going to offer some quotations from several of these articles, along with a bit of commentary.First, Sam Harris responded to Sandy Hook by arguing that the answer is more guns, not fewer. His argument, which was covered by fellow Patheos blogger Hemant Mehta, was … [Read more...]

On “Equity Feminism” and “Gender Feminism”

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You may or may not have been following all the hoopla over feminism in the online atheist community in the last two years. While I have never addressed it directly on my blog, I've definitely kept up with it. Blogger vjack of Atheist Revolution has written about it quite a bit, and recently put up a post in which he suggests that the conflict stems from competing definitions of feminism: "equity feminism" and "gender feminism." Here is how he describes them: In a nutshell, equity feminism refers … [Read more...]

Sometimes I Really Hate Advertising

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A friend of mine just sent me an email she got from Ebates.[Text: Boy's Shoes. Keep Them Active. Make sure your boys is comfortable for all of his activities, indoors and out.][Text: Girl's Shoes. Show Them Off. From the school yard to the birthday party, find the perfect pair for activities and comfort.]I am doing my best to raise my children in an egalitarian way, but I often feel like I am swimming upstream. I mean, really? Really? Boys shoes: "Keep Them Active." Girl's sh … [Read more...]

“I Make More Money Than He Does”

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Over the holidays, I made the mistake of bringing up laundry at the dinner table at Sean's parents' house. Sean may not have grown up in the evangelical homeschool world of Christian Patriarchy that I did, but his mother doesn't work outside of the home and his parents have always embraced fairly traditional gender roles, so I really should have known better. Anyway, I simply wanted to know if Sean had started the load of laundry he had said he would, and to let him know that he would have to … [Read more...]

Why My Son Bobby Needs Feminism Too

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I've noticed something as the mother of two children, one daughter and one son. I can dress my preschool daughter in girls' clothes or in boys' clothes, but if I dressed my baby in purple or put him in a dress, well, I'd get some serious stares.We often say that "patriarchy hurts men too." It's true. For example, I grew up in a community where boys were expected to grow up to be providers and girls were expected to grow up to be homemakers. Girls didn't have any options, but boys' options … [Read more...]

On Shoveling Snow and How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too

shoveling snow

Today I did something I've never done before. I shoveled snow. No, I didn't grow up in the south. I grew up with snow. I just never shoveled it. My brothers did. Yes, I've been grown and gone and married for years now, but my husband and I live in an apartment where the handy men shovel the walks. And so, somehow, I've made it to my mid-twenties without shoveling snow.It is often said that patriarchy hurts men too, but I don't think this is emphasized nearly enough. My brothers were expected … [Read more...]


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