Sometimes I Really Hate Advertising

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A friend of mine just sent me an email she got from Ebates.[Text: Boy's Shoes. Keep Them Active. Make sure your boys is comfortable for all of his activities, indoors and out.][Text: Girl's Shoes. Show Them Off. From the school yard to the birthday party, find the perfect pair for activities and comfort.]I am doing my best to raise my children in an egalitarian way, but I often feel like I am swimming upstream. I mean, really? Really? Boys shoes: "Keep Them Active." Girl's sh … [Read more...]

“I Make More Money Than He Does”

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Over the holidays, I made the mistake of bringing up laundry at the dinner table at Sean's parents' house. Sean may not have grown up in the evangelical homeschool world of Christian Patriarchy that I did, but his mother doesn't work outside of the home and his parents have always embraced fairly traditional gender roles, so I really should have known better. Anyway, I simply wanted to know if Sean had started the load of laundry he had said he would, and to let him know that he would have to … [Read more...]

Why My Son Bobby Needs Feminism Too

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I've noticed something as the mother of two children, one daughter and one son. I can dress my preschool daughter in girls' clothes or in boys' clothes, but if I dressed my baby in purple or put him in a dress, well, I'd get some serious stares.We often say that "patriarchy hurts men too." It's true. For example, I grew up in a community where boys were expected to grow up to be providers and girls were expected to grow up to be homemakers. Girls didn't have any options, but boys' options … [Read more...]

On Shoveling Snow and How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too

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Today I did something I've never done before. I shoveled snow. No, I didn't grow up in the south. I grew up with snow. I just never shoveled it. My brothers did. Yes, I've been grown and gone and married for years now, but my husband and I live in an apartment where the handy men shovel the walks. And so, somehow, I've made it to my mid-twenties without shoveling snow.It is often said that patriarchy hurts men too, but I don't think this is emphasized nearly enough. My brothers were expected … [Read more...]

Charlotte Allen Blames Sandy Hook on Easy Bake Ovens

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I've been trying hard to ignore Charlotte Allen suggestion in the National Review that the Sandy Hook tragedy happened because elementary schools are too "feminized" and there were no adult men on the premises (except for the shooter, of course). But I can't do it any more, and you know why? She's responded to criticism by doubling down. No, I was not blaming any of the 26 victims or the parents who enrolled their kids at Sandy Hook. I am, however, blaming our culture that denies, dismisses, and … [Read more...]

Christian Patriarchy and Gender: Contentment v. Ambition

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For as long as I can remember, I heard the values of contentment extolled. Contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment. Growing up in a family influenced by the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements, contentment was something preached on a daily basis. I learned very early that I must be content.But you know what? This isn't what the guys around me were being told. While I was being taught to be content, they were being taught to be ambitious. They had to find jobs … [Read more...]

Raised Evangelical: Joy’s Story

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A post in the Raised Evangelical series.Section 1: Introduction Question 1: Please introduce yourself before we get started, providing a brief snapshot of your background an overview of your beliefs today.My name is Joy; I am a 42-year-old wife and working mother of 2. I was raised in an evangelical home that was fairly well-integrated into mainstream culture. My mother is a conservative evangelical and my father is a progressive evangelical (think Jim Wallis).  I grew up to question so … [Read more...]


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