Jimmy Kimmell on the Problem with Punishing Children

James Kimmell Children and Punishment

[Text: What bothers me so much about punishing children is that it is a conscious effort to hurt them . . . . The question that must be asked is why we are, and have been, so willing to hurt our children in order to get them to behave---to treat them as criminals, slaves, and animals. ~ James Kimmell] I love the above image and feel that it really encapsulates a lot of my thoughts. I personally left off punishing my daughter Sally about a year or so ago. And you know what? The sky hasn't … [Read more...]

The Purity Culture and “Lust”

lust

Growing up, "lust" was a big no no. No lusting allowed! Absolutely none! Lust was sinful, shameful, evil. It was the kind of word that was whispered. And what exactly was lust? Joshua Harris, the man who single handedly normalized the term "courtship" in evangelicalism, wrote a book called Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) in which he offered the following definition: Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden. In other words, conservative evangelicals and fundamentalists generally define … [Read more...]

It was like leaving my own children

daughters

Reader Rebecca recently posted a comment I really identify with: I always say that I was a homeschooler in the most steriotypical kind of way – the denim jumper-wearing, granola-eating, flour-grinding type. And then sometimes I clarify further by mentioning that my parents also didn’t believe in birth control. I dearly wish that, like Latebloomer, that I would come across as normal, but I’m pretty convinced by now, after years of striving to blend in, that I have have some kind of aura about me … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Continuing Influence

sand

What do you think is the biggest way being raised in a family influenced by Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideas has influenced who you are today? Joe: Coming soon. Latebloomer: I feel grateful that I have seen the world through two completely different worldviews.  I feel like it makes me able to relate to more people, which is useful in my profession because I have to facilitate interaction between people from very different cultures.   It also helps me understand both sides of the po … [Read more...]

“That’s a Bad Word”

I grew up in a home where "heck" was a bad word. And "dang." And "gee." And "gosh." Heck, after all, was just code for "hell," and dang was code for "damn," and gee was code for "Jesus," and gosh was code for "God." And thus they were all off limits. Shoot was about the only word that was okay, which is weird because I'm pretty sure that if the other words are really code, that one's code for "shit."When you're not allowed to say even the most innocuous swear words, you have to get creative. … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 4: The Pain

In Part 1 I discussed the definition of emotional incest, in Part 2 I discussed its relationship with the stay-at-home daughter dynamic of the Christian Patriarchy movement, and in Part 3 I discussed other ways emotional incest can occur as well. I am now going to turn to the problems and pain emotional incest causes.Emotional incest causes a multitude of problems, but I'm only going to address the three I see as most significant: first, it creates a relationship triangle between the parents … [Read more...]

Sunday Mornings, Guilt, and Reconceptualization

Growing up, I attended church each and every Sunday. It was just . . . what we did. Sunday mornings was for church. Period. My parents used a Bible verse to back up the importance of church attendance: Hebrews 10:25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. In other words, going to church was commanded by God. It wasn't optional. And if you didn't go to church, you would be … [Read more...]


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