But What If Your Husband Tells You Not to Submit?

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When I write about submission, especially in the context of Debi Pearl's book, Created To Be His Help Meet, commenters frequently ask what Debi would say to a woman whose husband told her not to submit. I think we have our answer, or at least as close as we're going to get to an answer. It's an article by Debi's daughter Shoshanna Easling. My Dad was not the type of guy to check with you before he made a decision. We would be driving down the road when all of a sudden he would pull in to a … [Read more...]

When Up Is Down and Down Is Up, Submission Edition

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I recently came upon an old article explaining the concept of wifely submission. While I'm unsure who wrote it, and it appears to be from the 1990s, it's similar enough to the ideas taught by many evangelicals and fundamentalists that it bears addressing.There are a lot of misconceptions about submission and submissive people.  Before we can intelligently consider what the Bible has to say on the subject of submissive wives we need to clear these misconceptions out of our way.  Let me begin w … [Read more...]

Pastors and Secretaries: Enemies of a Gothard Marriage

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I've been under a lot of stress lately and I'm really tired. But I try to put up a post each day to keep things active and maintain the community here, so today you get more from the Bill Gothard textbook I got my hands on. He's just so out there that blogging against his teachings is easier than many other topics, somehow. It's also familiar, in a way. So today you get to find out how pastors and secretaries can be enemies to good, godly marriages.Both of these passages are from the chapter … [Read more...]

“I See Things That Nobody Else Sees”

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Melanie Martinez's music video "Dollhouse" is really getting to me. I've watched it multiple times since writing about Cynthia Jeub, and have been struck by how much it speaks to me. Why, you ask? Let me explain. First, the video:Before I get into my story some more, I want to quote from a recent blog post by homeschool graduate Lana. Lana's writing has long spoken to me, and is a story only too common in the Christian homeschooling communities we grew up in. Our family was the center o … [Read more...]

Has Gay Marriage Harmed this Writer and Her Children?

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I recently came upon an article titled "Breaking the Silence: Redefining Marriage Hurts Women Like Me---and Our Children." I was intrigued, because I often hear or read that allowing gay and lesbian individuals to marry harms opposite-sex marriage, but I rarely find any case made for what that harm actually looks like, or how it is caused. The article, by a woman named Janna Darnelle, begins like this:Every time a new state redefines marriage, the news is full of happy stories of gay and … [Read more...]

My First Crush

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Growing up on the conservative Christian homeschooling culture of courtship and purity rings made a lot of things about boy-girl interactions different. Everything was ramped up, accelerated somehow. Our mothers jumped straight from simple attractions on our part to the possibility of marriage. We did too.I still remember my first crush. I was seven. He was nine. I was homeschooled, but he wasn't. My mother and his mother knew each other from church. Finally, I got up the courage to ask him w … [Read more...]

Pastor Mark Driscoll Called Women “Penis Homes”

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Things have been getting worse and worse for Mark Driscoll in recent weeks. But what I want to point out for a moment is one of Driscoll's posts from 2001, when he was posting to a church message board under the name William Wallace II. I have rarely seen an evangelical man assert male superiority and prominence this directly. The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply … [Read more...]


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