Guest Post: A Courtship Story, Part 8: Courtship Is Not the Answer

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A Guest Post by MelissaOriginally posted on Permission to LiveNote: I’m reposting Melissa’s series, originally written in February 2011, with her permission. Why now? Put simply, because it was one of the first things that came to my mind when I heard about Jessa Duggar courting. This is something I wish she could read. This is for Jessa. For all the posts in this series, click here. Looking back, I like many things about our story. I love that we were very honest about our ne … [Read more...]

Pulling the Victoria’s Secret Dance

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Fundamentalist and conservative evangelical Christianity is weird. Women are taught to dress modestly in public, to stay away from pornography or premarital sex, etc. Prostitutes and strippers are derided, along with everyone who dresses "like a whore" (i.e. less modestly than they're supposed to). But in private, within marriage? Women are expected to perform. They have to somehow go from reserved modesty to being, well, a man's personal supermodel.Take this blog comment, for instance: I … [Read more...]

The Twisted Evil

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I write a lot here on the blog about Debi Pearl's Created To Be His Help Meet and Michael Pearl's To Train Up A Child. I think it's important to remember that there are people who wholeheartedly believe and follow both books. This isn't some abstract thing. For these individuals and families, this is real life. And the things the Pearls say---things that are, I might add, actually quite widespread in fundamentalist Christian circles far beyond the Pearls themselves---shape the directions of p … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Courting a Stranger

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As you may know, the Duggars announced last week that their daughter Jessa is now courting. I've watched the conversation surrounding this announcement, and to be honest, my gut reaction has been to wish people would leave the poor girl alone. This is as close as Jessa is allowed to come to dating, and she almost certainly has all of the happy jitters that come with first love. I remember that time myself and have a lot of empathy for Jessa, and some of the more snarky responses I've seen have … [Read more...]

Kings, Queens, Spheres, and Kingdoms

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I remember being over at a friend's house when her dad called to say he was on his way home. My friend's mom immediately went into motion: "The king is coming, the king is coming! Quick guys, clean up, make everything ready, the king is coming!" I also have memories of my mother saying that my father was the king, but she was the queen. Even Debi Pearl herself has used the king/queen husband/wife motif inCreated To Be His Help Meet.But a recent commenter drew attention to something … [Read more...]

Teenage Daughters and Their Fathers

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I recently wrote about a group called "Bright Lights" that focuses on urging girls to abstain not only from sex and dating but also from male friendships---until marriage, of course. One of the conference topics, according to their website, is "Giving Your Heart to Your Father." One of the commenters responded to that as follows: I think the "Your Father" in the title meant God, but I could be wrong since there is the creepy incestuous vibe in the purity movement. I replied and let her know … [Read more...]

True Womanhood: Get Abused, Win a Crown!

Christian feminist blogger Caris Adel has been reviewing DeMoss and Kassian's bible study for women, True Woman 101 Divine Design, which is the same genre as Debi Pearl's Created To Be His Help Meet. When I write about Debi, I am often told that Debi is extreme, that her teachings are not widespread among evangelicals, etc. As DeMoss and Kassian reveal, however, this is incorrect. (You've heard of Kassian and DeMoss on this blog before, in a two-part guest series.) I want to quote from one s … [Read more...]


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