Punishment Has No Place in Marriage*

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I grew up in an evangelical family, raised by parents who believed that husbands are to lead and wives are to submit. But I don't recall hearing anything about husbands punishing their wives for lack of obedience. When disobedient wives came up, husbands were generally advised to simply love and pray for them. So I have to admit to being rather horrified by some blog posts I came upon this week.First I read a blog post by blogger Sunshine Mary, in which she wrote that her husband refused to r … [Read more...]

Sexual Repression, the Duggar Parents, and Mine

Michelle

When people on the outside think about fundamentalists and conservative evangelicals and others who teach that sex before marriage is sin, they often seem to have this picture of people who are completely sexually repressed, who feel shame about having sex and can't bring themselves to say the word "sex." Now I'm not denying that such people exist---they certainly do. What I want to point out is simply that this does not describe all fundamentalists and conservative evangelicals who teach that … [Read more...]

Matt Walsh Doesn’t Get Historical Marriage Rate Trends

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Matt Walsh recently published an article urging early marriage.I was 24 when we met and got engaged and 25 when we tied the knot. That would make us pretty run of the mill by our grandparents’ standards, but not anymore. These days we’re practically a Ripley’s Believe It Or Not exhibit. People are downright befuddled to come across a 20-something with a wedding ring, much less a couple of carseats in the back of the sedan. There’s a good reason for their shocked amazement. Indeed, y … [Read more...]

But What If Your Husband Tells You Not to Submit?

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When I write about submission, especially in the context of Debi Pearl's book, Created To Be His Help Meet, commenters frequently ask what Debi would say to a woman whose husband told her not to submit. I think we have our answer, or at least as close as we're going to get to an answer. It's an article by Debi's daughter Shoshanna Easling. My Dad was not the type of guy to check with you before he made a decision. We would be driving down the road when all of a sudden he would pull in to a … [Read more...]

When Up Is Down and Down Is Up, Submission Edition

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I recently came upon an old article explaining the concept of wifely submission. While I'm unsure who wrote it, and it appears to be from the 1990s, it's similar enough to the ideas taught by many evangelicals and fundamentalists that it bears addressing.There are a lot of misconceptions about submission and submissive people.  Before we can intelligently consider what the Bible has to say on the subject of submissive wives we need to clear these misconceptions out of our way.  Let me begin w … [Read more...]

Pastors and Secretaries: Enemies of a Gothard Marriage

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I've been under a lot of stress lately and I'm really tired. But I try to put up a post each day to keep things active and maintain the community here, so today you get more from the Bill Gothard textbook I got my hands on. He's just so out there that blogging against his teachings is easier than many other topics, somehow. It's also familiar, in a way. So today you get to find out how pastors and secretaries can be enemies to good, godly marriages.Both of these passages are from the chapter … [Read more...]

“I See Things That Nobody Else Sees”

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Melanie Martinez's music video "Dollhouse" is really getting to me. I've watched it multiple times since writing about Cynthia Jeub, and have been struck by how much it speaks to me. Why, you ask? Let me explain. First, the video:Before I get into my story some more, I want to quote from a recent blog post by homeschool graduate Lana. Lana's writing has long spoken to me, and is a story only too common in the Christian homeschooling communities we grew up in. Our family was the center o … [Read more...]


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