“I Make More Money Than He Does”

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Over the holidays, I made the mistake of bringing up laundry at the dinner table at Sean's parents' house. Sean may not have grown up in the evangelical homeschool world of Christian Patriarchy that I did, but his mother doesn't work outside of the home and his parents have always embraced fairly traditional gender roles, so I really should have known better. Anyway, I simply wanted to know if Sean had started the load of laundry he had said he would, and to let him know that he would have to … [Read more...]

The Purity Culture’s Mangled Relationship Advice

relationship

Some time ago a reader of this site asked if I could address a concern in his life. He had been pursuing a young lady and beginning to think about marriage, but rather suddenly found that he was no longer attracted to her. She was a godly person and just the kind of woman he could see himself settling down with. But then he looked at her and saw that the physical attracted had just plain disappeared. What could he do? What had gone wrong? So begins a post by evangelical blogger Tim Challies. I … [Read more...]

The Purity Culture and Trust

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I'm afraid I rather made my husband Sean miserable during our engagement and early marriage. For one thing, I found out that he had had sex with a previous girlfriend, and when he wasn't regretful for it, I did everything I could to let him know how much this hurt me in an effort to make him feel guilt and regret. For another thing, given that I was taught both that men constantly think about sex and that my husband thinking sexual thoughts about another woman was the equivalent of adultery, I … [Read more...]

Suzanne Venker’s War on Men

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Suzanne Venker wrote an article called "The War on Men" for Fox News. I decided I would avoid it. Other blogs have it covered, after all. I almost succeeded avoiding the topic until I came upon these quotes from her explanation defending her original piece:  Women should understand that they absolutely can be strong and independent and be married, but that being feminine and vulnerable and taking on that more traditional role as being dependent on a man and letting him have some say in the mat … [Read more...]

2012, the Turning Point for Marriage Equality?

marriage

For ages now, proponents of "traditional" marriage have been arguing that any gains in marriage equality were the products of judicial or legislative "activism," pointing to the fact that every time marriage equality has been put to a popular vote it has been voted down. The people, they said, affirm the importance of "traditional" marriage. Yesterday that changed.Washington, Maine, and Maryland all voted to approve marriage equality while Minnesota voted down an amendment that would have … [Read more...]

Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Women

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There's been lots and lots of talk about Romney's positions on women, especially his anecdote about seeking out "binders full of women" when appointing people to state positions as governor (which by the way turned out to be false).  Frankly, I don't have time to get into everything Romney has said about women, or his flip flopping and double talk about things like insurance coverage of contraception or whether he would work to outlaw abortion. And frankly, lots of other people out there are … [Read more...]

Sex, men, and “giving”

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Yesterday we talked about what it means when evangelicals and fundamentalists speak of a woman "giving" in the context of sex - namely, that it involves a woman "giving" sex to her husband in order to fulfill his sexual needs. Well, I was recently pointed to an article called Necessities for God-Glorifying Sex which speaks of the man "giving." It made me realize that this is something I've seen before. Let's take a look, shall we?First, note that the title of the article - "Necessities for … [Read more...]


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