CTBHHM: Michael Pearl’s Stamp of Approval

approved

Created to Be His Help Meet, pp. 13Created to Be His Help Meet, a popular evangelical/fundamentalist marriage manual, begins with a one page introduction by author Debi Pearl's husband, Michael Pearl. This is important, because it signals that Michael approved of his wife's writing a book. In evangelical and fundamentalist circles, whether they embrace "complementarianism" or actually use the word "patriarchy," women aren't supposed to write books, etc., without their husband's "blessing." … [Read more...]

Wearing Your Virginity on Your Sleeve

virginity

A long time lurker on my blog just sent me a link to a Fox News opinion piece called Waiting Til the Wedding Night: Getting Married the Right Way. Here's how it starts: "As anyone who’s read my abstinence column here at Fox News Opinion could guess, my wedding is something that I’ve looked forward to for quite some time. After having tied the knot at the end of August, I can now say beyond all shadow of a doubt, that it was everything I’d hoped and prayed that it would be since childhood. ... … [Read more...]

From “Legal” Coverture to “Visionary” Coverture

law of coverture

You remember that piece I wrote a while ago about a World Magazine writer explaining why she changed her name when getting married? Well, her husband has commented on that piece arguing that I misunderstood what was said in the essay, so I made added a correction to the end of my post. But doing so made me think again about the whole name changing thing - and about why it was seen as completely natural, obvious, and mandatory in the conservative evangelical community in which I was raised. And … [Read more...]

The Purity Culture and Sex as a “Duty”

woman serve man

The teachings of the purity culture led me to believe that I owed my husband sex, that it was his due, and that if I didn't give him sex, well, he would look elsewhere and I would be at least partially to blame. I was taught that men (unlike women) needed sex about three times a week in order to be fulfilled, and that it was my job - my duty - as his wife to do this for my husband. Or else he might, you know, cheat.To give you an example of the messages I got about this growing up, let me off … [Read more...]

What does it mean to be “anti-woman”?

Gender Roles

In the comments on yesterday's post, several people insisted that requiring women to always risk motherhood when having sex wasn't "anti-woman." And then I realized something. We're defining anti-woman differently. We - progressives and conservatives - mean different things when we say or hear the term "anti-woman."Social conservatives generally do not believe in gender equality, and by that I mean that they believe that men and women have different "roles" to play in life. Men are supposed … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Kiery’s Story

balloons2

A post in the Raised Quiverfull series.Part 1: Introductory Questions Question 1: Please introduce yourself before we get started. Are you married or unmarried? Are you in school, holding down a job, or staying home? Do you have children? What religious beliefs or lack thereof do you ascribe to today? Provide whatever additional information you like.I’m 21, married and building my empire, which is a fancy way of saying I’m employing myself while not making very much money. I have a seaso … [Read more...]

If he’s Jesus and I’m the church, that’s not equal

Bride of Christ

"Husbands and wives are equal, they just have different roles." Do you have any idea how many times I've heard that? At one point I believed it, but somewhere along the line I realized it couldn't be true. Why? Because the husband's role always ends up being "being in charge" while the wife's role is "doing as told." I'm sorry, but that's not equal. That can't be equal.But I also remember hearing another constant meme - that marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and the … [Read more...]


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