Worthwhile Reads: The “Modesty Doctrine” Hurts Men Too

From time to time, I plan to point my blog readers to articles on other blogs that I find especially good. I'm really grateful to my blogging friend Sierra for writing excellent pieces on the problem with what she calls "the modesty doctrine."Just today Sierra posted an amazing article called "How the Modesty Doctrine Hurts Men Too." I highly recommend you take a look, she's spot on.Sierra previously wrote an excellent piece on how the modesty doctrine affected her own life. For that, click … [Read more...]

The Purity Myth

This is beautiful. For a full transcript, see here. I think the very best part comes at the end: "The purity myth is the lie that women’s sexuality has some bearing on who we are and how good we are, because really I think we all know that young women are so much more than whether or not they have sex. We really should be teaching our daughters that their ability to be good people should be based on their intelligence, on their compassion, their kindness, not what they do with their b … [Read more...]

Critiquing the Purity Culture

When I wrote about the purity culture and sexual dysfunction last week, I had no idea how many chords that simple post would touch. I had no idea how much attention it would get. Only fifteen hours after I posted it, it had more page views than any other post I have ever posted. Not more than any other post had after fifteen hours, more than any other post had total. Today, it has more than twice as many page views than any other post. To be perfectly honest, this attention surprised me. Perhaps … [Read more...]

Purity Balls: They’re Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Yesterday I posted about about purity balls, and pointed out that fathers should have nothing to do with their daughters' virginity, unless they're reverting to some sort of Old Testament "fathers own their daughters virginity and women are property" mentality. Since then I have watched this documentary and done some thinking. See, the argument is more sophisticated than "your virginity belongs to your father."In the documentary, Randy Wilson of Generations of Light Ministry states that … [Read more...]

Your Virginity is YOURS – Not Your Daddy’s

I just came across this:Golden Isles Father Daughter Purity BallYou really should go to the link and look at the pictures. Let me give you some examples below:Here's the thing. I have nothing against a girl deciding not to have sex until marriage, but that needs to be her choice. It's not her dad's choice, not her pastor's choice, not her mom's choice, not anyone else's choice. If a girl decides she wants to not have sex until marriage, it's her … [Read more...]

Sexpectations: Purity, Courtship, and Dating

A good deal of the pain we feel in our day to day lives comes from unmet expectations. As an example, if my husband doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper I become upset, but only because I expect him to put them in the hamper. If I didn’t it wouldn’t upset me. The same is true, for example, of my parents: they feel a great deal of pain today because I didn’t live up to their expectations as an adult daughter. If they hadn’t expected me to submit to my father, they would not have been upset … [Read more...]

I Wear A Bikini (Gasp!)

Earlier this summer, I watched two teenage girls playing in a pool. They were both carefree, both playful, and both fairly new to their suddenly womanly bodies. The first wore a bikini, the other a one piece swimsuit with a high neckline and shorts. The first was an exchange student from Europe, the other my sister. As I watched the exchange student frolic in her bikini, innocently and without a care in the world, I wished that I had been able to be so comfortable in my body so early. It is … [Read more...]