Guest Post: Allowing the Devil To Undress You: The Slut-Shaming of a Former Homeschooler


A Guest Post by Ryan StollarOriginally posted on Homeschoolers AnonymousA disgrace.A destructive force against families.Homeschool dropout.A rat turd.These are but a number of phrases used on HSLDA’s Facebook page in reference to Teresa Scanlan, a former homeschooler attending Patrick Henry College. These are not phrases used by HSLDA; in fact, HSLDA has championed Teresa as a homeschool success story. But these phrases are also not coming from anti-homeschoolers or l … [Read more...]

My Brothers Too: Purity Culture and Double Standards


Every time purity culture issues come up---purity rings, purity balls, saving your first kiss for the wedding---someone inevitably makes an argument about double standards. Sometimes these commenters are absolutely right---modesty discussions almost without fail involve a double standard---but other times, well, it's not so simple.In the conservative evangelical homeschool circles I ran in as a teen and young adult, boys didn't get a pass on not having sex before marriage. Guys were expected … [Read more...]

Manly Modesty?


Every time I write about modesty, people comment pointing out that there's a double standard---modesty is about girls dressing a certain way so that guys won't be turned on by women's bodies, and the idea that girls might be turned on by guys is generally left out of the picture completely. In this light, I found a recent article on the Christian Post interesting. Near the end of my pastoral tenure a shift happened I had never experienced in 20 years of ministry. After a sermon in which I … [Read more...]

How I Used To Dress (with Illustrations)


I recently looked through some old photo albums from my teenage years. Oh, the memories that brought back. Clothing in the conservative Christian homeschooling subculture, especially the quiverfull variety, is quite the topic. I want to use some pictures to illustrate some points here, but I blog under a pseudonym so I really can't use my own pictures, and I don't want to violate some random person's privacy by dipping into google images. So instead I'm going to use some pictures of the Duggars … [Read more...]

When You Grow Up Wearing Baggy T-Shirts . . .


I was fascinated by a recent post by Lana on clothes shopping as an ex-fundamentalist girl. So much of it rang so very true for me. I'll be writing more on this topic soon, but I wanted to start by quoting liberally from her wonderful post: You remember that scene in Tangled where the little girls have to fix Rapunzel’s hair up? That’s totally me in the clothing shop. I’m pretty sure most 8-year-olds know more about women’s clothing to me.I hate clothes shopping. It’s painfully difficult for … [Read more...]

Chocolate Cake Can’t Consent

chocolate cake

Note: After I wrote this post and slated it to go up today---I frequently write posts in advance and then schedule them---I noticed that Samantha of Defeating the Dragons had just posted an awesome look at it herself. Check it out. I recently came upon a Christian blogger explaining why she doesn't wear bikinis---using all the standard purity culture rhetoric of course---and this one paragraph really stuck out at me: Let’s try and put ourselves in a guy’s shoes. I think we can all agree that … [Read more...]

Ticking Time Bombs of Atomic Hormones


I've written a lot about my experiences being raised in what I call "the purity culture"---evangelicalism's obsession with the virginity and sexual ignorance of its young, an obsession that manifests itself in purity rings, purity balls, modesty teachings, and the rejection of dating. Some readers have asked what it's like for males growing up in the purity culture, and I've had to say that while I could guess, I honestly didn't know. Most of those speaking out against the purity culture have … [Read more...]