Respecting Every BODY

spinning bucket

Today I was pushing Bobby on the swing at the park. Each time his swing came toward me, I reached forward and tickled him. He responded by smiling and laughing, leaning forward and grinning at me. Each time as he came toward me he became excited, anticipating my tickles. Then something changed. Bobby still laughed when I ticked him as he came toward me, but he did so in a forced, annoyed way, and he leaned away from my touch. He managed to get out an "uh-uh" in the midst of his laughter. And so … [Read more...]

Just a Story

Wedgits

This evening I was sitting with my laptop, working, when I vaguely noticed a commotion behind me. Sally was playing with WEDGiTS, and Bobby was butting in. He wasn't trying to be mean, he just wanted to play too, but the result was that he kept knocking over Sally's creations and she grew upset. She tried to elbow him out, to surround the toys with her body, but it didn't work. Bobby wouldn't be put off, and he couldn't play with the WEDGiTS with her without getting in her way. Finally, she ran … [Read more...]

“Don’t Lie to Me, Mommy!”

25239379-little-girl-is-yelling-hysterically

Sean and I have a bit of a habit of "kidding" each other, and it's something we've carried over to how we interact with the children. To explain what I'm even talking about here, I'm going to have to give an example. "Mommy, are we rich?" Sally asked me recently. "Well, we have plenty to eat and a safe place to live and lots of friends, so I'd say yes, we're rich," I responded. This was not the best answer, maybe, but I wasn't exactly in the position to explain things like global inequalities … [Read more...]

Emotion Control

images (5)

Michael and Debi Pearl's five children are now raising children of their own. Each says they are following the same methods their father laid out in To Train Up A Child, which he first published in 1994, and several of them have begun writing regularly for the No Greater Joy newsletter. As I read their articles, I often wonder whether they are adding their own spin to their father's childrearing methods.The Pearls have begun applying this three-part personality system to children. A recent a … [Read more...]

And Then She Called Me “Libby”

mother and daughter

Over the holidays my preschool age daughter Sally started calling me Libby. For a couple of days, it was all she used to address me. "Libby, can you get me a drink of milk?" "Libby, can I have a snack?" "Libby, is it okay if I go play in the basement?" I think I can now understand why some parents go by their first names with their children. There is definitely something leveling about it.Sally has long occasionally called Sean and I by our first names. For instance, I'd say "Sally, could … [Read more...]

Little Bundles of Sin? I Think Not.

toddler-portrait

"My legs are tired mommy, my legs are tired!" Sally was insistent."We're almost home, honey, you can make it," I assured her. Bobby was in the stroller, and as he is just moving from babyhood to toddlerhood I wasn't going to make him walk."No I can't! My legs are going to fall asleep!" Sally was again insistent."Come on honey, I know you can do it," I said. "Just a little farther!"And at that moment, Bobby climbed out of the stroller, looked at his sister, and pointed back at the … [Read more...]

Raising Little Terrorists: Threats and Ultimatums Gone Wrong

bigstock_Angry_Child_2348279-300x200

"Mommy, stop your typing right now, or I'll color on the table with this marker.""Sally!" I burst out, "I will not let you threaten me like that!"And then I had a sudden realization and my annoyance evaporated. Sally, age four, had been issuing ultimatums like this with increasing frequency over the previous week, but it was only at this moment that I put two and two together and figured out where this was coming from. Sally had learned to issue threats to get her way from me. Stop … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X