And Bobby Wore Heels

dress shoes

I was getting ready to check out at the second-hand children's clothing shop when I realized I had a problem. When we had first arrived at the store Bobby had brought me a pair of white heeled girls' dress shoes just his size and had asked me to put them on him (he doesn't really have words yet, but that doesn't mean he can't communicate!). So I had, and he'd been running around in them with smiling from ear to ear ever since. And now that it was time to go, well, now he wouldn't let me take … [Read more...]

No Spanking Necessary

reading book

I was nervous. Bobby is a year old now, and fast on his feet. He loves watching his sister Sally in her dance class. Usually we stay outside the room and watch through a long window, and I hold him up to see. But one day a semester, the parents are invited to sit in on the class to watch. Sally was excited to have us in the room. There was a slightly inset area that ran along one side of the room, with space for folding chairs and a bit of room around them. But how in the world was I to sit … [Read more...]

Why I Let My Children Eat (Almost) Whatever They Want

kid

I wrote recently about why I give my daughter Sally unrestricted access to her Halloween candy, and that generated some interesting discussion as people reminisced about their own childhoods or explained their own parenting decisions. But one comment, left by a reader named Brandy, got me thinking about teaching children about healthy eating.┬áBrandy offered this concern: I guess I am struggling with this because of my own past. I was brought up with full access to junk food. My Halloween candy … [Read more...]

Let’s Talk about Halloween Candy

candy

When I was a child, we didn't do trick-or-treating, but we did go to our church's harvest festival each year, which means we children did end up with piles of candy. Each year my parents put all of that candy up where we couldn't get it and let us eat it for only one half hour each Saturday over the next couple of weeks, until it was gone. This was a terrible idea. Not only did it reinforce that nothing was really ever ours, it also meant that every Saturday for a month we would cram ourselves … [Read more...]

“Would you like me to hold you while you cry?”

Mother comforting her crying little girl

I knew the moment I saw Sally's face that there was going to be a problem. Her face was crumpling, and I knew tears wouldn't be far behind. Sally had just finished her dance class. Her teacher had just given her and her classmates each a certificate of participation, but one girl, who had fulfilled all the requirements and was ready to move up to the next class, got a ribbon. And Sally didn't. And in Sally's four-year-old mind, this was a disaster.The tears flowed freely as we walked out to … [Read more...]

A Sibling Tussle: Empathy and Problem Solving

4029R-101517

So. I've given you all an intense couple of days. Today we take a break for something more fun. I want to share a humorous exchange that recently took place between my children Sally (age 4) and Bobby (age 1). It involved a tussle over a package of princess gummies and two children who really do care about each other---but aren't about to give up their property without a fuss.First, a moment of background. Every time we go to the grocery I let Sally pick out something for herself. The … [Read more...]

Bottling Up Your Emotions, Children Edition

bottle

Have a look at this FAQ from a quiverfull blogger: How do you deal with (1) whining/complaining, (2) arguing with parental directions, (3) poor attitudes (sulking, etc.) in response to chores, food, parental decisions, etc., (4) tantrums.All of the above are a lot easier to avoid, than to deal with. We do not permit whining, complaining, arguing, sulking, tantrums, sibling fighting, rudeness, etc. We avoid them by teaching why such attitudes and behaviors are wrong, and then punishing them … [Read more...]


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