A Sibling Tussle: Empathy and Problem Solving

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So. I've given you all an intense couple of days. Today we take a break for something more fun. I want to share a humorous exchange that recently took place between my children Sally (age 4) and Bobby (age 1). It involved a tussle over a package of princess gummies and two children who really do care about each other---but aren't about to give up their property without a fuss.First, a moment of background. Every time we go to the grocery I let Sally pick out something for herself. The … [Read more...]

Bottling Up Your Emotions, Children Edition

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Have a look at this FAQ from a quiverfull blogger: How do you deal with (1) whining/complaining, (2) arguing with parental directions, (3) poor attitudes (sulking, etc.) in response to chores, food, parental decisions, etc., (4) tantrums.All of the above are a lot easier to avoid, than to deal with. We do not permit whining, complaining, arguing, sulking, tantrums, sibling fighting, rudeness, etc. We avoid them by teaching why such attitudes and behaviors are wrong, and then punishing them … [Read more...]

Sally’s Scissors and How We Teach Lessons

mother-daughter-relationship

I have been really surprised by the response to the post I put up this morning about Sally's scissors. In that post I told what was for me an important moment of self-discovery, and I used that moment to draw out a more important point, and yet the majority of the commenters there responded by telling me that there's nothing wrong with taking away a child's scissors, that I shouldn't feel bad about acting out in anger toward Sally because everyone's human, and even that Sally was likely just … [Read more...]

“You Took My Scissors Away and Made Me Sad”

Small_pair_of_blue_scissors

Sally has a little box with scissors and glue, and she loves cutting and pasting. She makes beautiful pictures cutting up colored paper and then gluing it together. And then, yesterday, she cut up the couch. I'll be honest: I was a bit angry. Now, I know kids are kids and these things happen, and I value my relationship with my daughter more than I do the couch, but I was still more than a little upset with her for cutting up my couch. Ouch.Anyway, I took her scissors away. I told her that … [Read more...]

“Mommy, You Have Two Options”

preschool

When Sally wants something that is not an option at the moment---say, going out for ice cream---the first thing I do is explain why it's not an option. I explain that we had already made other plans, or that we don't have money in the budget to go for ice cream every day, or that we need to make sure we're eating a healthy diet and ice cream should be a special treat not something we eat constantly, etc.Sometimes, however, that's not enough. Sally doesn't always understand the concept of … [Read more...]

Gentle Discipline and Shades of Formula Parenting

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There appears to be a growing trend in some Christian homeschooling circles away from corporal punishment. The term generally used instead is "gentle discipline," and it sounds in many ways quite similar to what I call "positive parenting." I hesitate to make the critique I'm about to make, because I truly am glad that these parents are deciding not to spank.The thing is, when I read blog posts by mothers into gentle discipline, I am sometimes afraid that they have simply exchanged one … [Read more...]

That Time I Put Myself in a Timeout

tantrum girl

Sometime last year, shortly after Bobby was born, Sally had the worst temper tantrum she has ever had. Sean was working late and I had the kids. Bobby was fussy and I was trying to cook supper and I don't even remember what set Sally off. But she wasn't the only one who got mad---I got mad too. Really angry, and not just at her. My evening was not going as planned. Sally was lying on the ground, screaming and kicking things. So I chose a course of action and took it. I turned off the stove, … [Read more...]


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