Why Sally Doesn’t Have a Bedtime

Bedtime

Would you believe that Sally doesn't have a bedtime? Well, she doesn't. She used to. We tried to put her to bed at 8:30 each night, and each night turned into a battle. "If you don't go to bed when it's your bedtime, you will be tired in the morning," we told her. "No I won't!" she insisted. So we would let her stay up, figuring that the next day she'd be tired and learn her lesson, and then she'd finally understand why she needed to go to bed at 8:30 each night. Except that it … [Read more...]

Jimmy Kimmell on the Problem with Punishing Children

James Kimmell Children and Punishment

[Text: What bothers me so much about punishing children is that it is a conscious effort to hurt them . . . . The question that must be asked is why we are, and have been, so willing to hurt our children in order to get them to behave---to treat them as criminals, slaves, and animals. ~ James Kimmell] I love the above image and feel that it really encapsulates a lot of my thoughts. I personally left off punishing my daughter Sally about a year or so ago. And you know what? The sky hasn't … [Read more...]

Critical Thinking and Compromise: Sally Strikes a Deal

Sally

"Sally, it's cold outside and we're about to go out. I would like you to put on some warm clothes.""No mommy, I want to wear this."Sally was wearing her sarong, a Christmas gift. It was light, colorful, and silky, a rectangular piece of cloth wrapped around her body and tied behind her neck. Outside, though, the snow was almost six inches deep and still coming down."I know you love your sarong, but we're going out and it's winter and it's cold and there's snow outside, so you really … [Read more...]

Listening Can Be Hard: On Children and Disconnects

biscuit2

It was breakfast on a Saturday morning, and we needed to get out the door. Sally, however, had broken her biscuit into little pieces and then pushed them off her plate. The table was a mess."I want another biscuit!" she announced."What? You already had a biscuit and you broke it into pieces!" I responded."But I want a new one!""Honey, it tastes the same even when it's broken in pieces. I promise. Just eat it, it's almost time to go.""No! I need a new biscuit!"At this … [Read more...]

Positive Parenting: “Yes Sally, I understand”

Mother Daughter

"Swish! Swish! Swish!"It was evening and I was in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes. Sally was playing with one of her daddy's belts, whipping it around, listening to the noise it made."Ouch!" I yelped as the belt caught my leg. "Sally, that hurt!" I got down on Sally's level to talk to her. "Listen honey, when you whip that belt around and hit someone, it hurts. You need to be careful."Sally nodded, but two minutes later she was at it again, whipping the belt through the air … [Read more...]

Things are different here: “Back Talk” and Healing

Balk Talk

"Bobby!" I swooped in quickly to scoop up my wailing baby. "Sally, you have to be careful!" I admonished my preschooler as I held the baby close. "You just tripped on Bobby!""But he was in my way!" Sally exclaimed, indignant.Like a marionette puppet jerked by its strings, my younger brother looked up from where he sat on the couch, and for a moment, time stopped. Sally had just back talked me. This sort of thing was not allowed in our house growing up. This sort of thing resulted in a … [Read more...]

Kids need rules! Right?

rules

I am constantly surprised by how much I was taught as common sense child rearing growing up is completely turned on its head by positive parenting. For example, one huge emphasis growing up is that children need rules, limits, and boundaries. Having boundaries, I was taught, makes children happy and secure. This from James Dobson of Focus on the Family: You have discussed the need for establishing boundaries within the home. Do children really want limits set on their behavior?Most … [Read more...]


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