Kids need rules! Right?

rules

I am constantly surprised by how much I was taught as common sense child rearing growing up is completely turned on its head by positive parenting. For example, one huge emphasis growing up is that children need rules, limits, and boundaries. Having boundaries, I was taught, makes children happy and secure. This from James Dobson of Focus on the Family: You have discussed the need for establishing boundaries within the home. Do children really want limits set on their behavior?Most … [Read more...]

I have another piece on Offbeat Mama

Click here:Preschoolers and the Art of PersuasionEnjoy! … [Read more...]

Positive Parenting: Get Some Perspective

On a recent weekend we were visiting relatives - this happens a lot in the summer - and we went to church with them. Sally sat through the service with us, because the church did not have Sunday school or even a nursery during the service. She did a pretty good job, for the most part, but like any young preschooler she was a bit antsy.Toward the end of the service, Sally started to get especially wiggly. I picked her up and held her, shushing her and telling her to sit still.Come on, … [Read more...]

On homeschooled children and being “well behaved”

large family

"Is she homeschooled?""What?" I stammered, looking up from the ribbon I was examining. Sally and I were at Hobby Lobby to pick up some cloth for a project."Is your daughter homeschooled?" It was the store attendant who cuts the cloth in the fabric area who was asking."No," I replied. "Why?""Oh, she acts like a homeschooled child. She's so well behaved, like all the homeschooled children who come in here."I told her about positive parenting and explained what it entailed, and … [Read more...]

I write about parenting because Sally changed my life

mother and cihld

As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment. I like your reflections on parenting Sally, but they have little to do with Sally. They are about you reinventing parenting and allowing Sally to teach you. This comment is so true. I never thought when I first gave birth that the little new life I held in my arms would so profoundly change me. Not simply change my life, but actually really truly change who I am as a person. Sally has spurred me to … [Read more...]

Temper tantrums, life, and calming down

breathe

Last week I took Sally to the park. When we pulled in, she completely freaked out. She started crying and yelling.No! Not here! Go back out, mommy!I responded as I normally do.Sally, it's okay, calm down. Tell mommy what's wrong. ... Honey, just take a deep breath, calm down, and use your words. ... Sally, I'm trying to listen to you, but I can't understand what you want while you're crying.This went back and forth for a minute or two, with her crying and me trying to figure out … [Read more...]

“Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood”

mother and baby

Latebloomer recently wrote an excellent post called "Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood." I've often had readers tell me that they read my posts and feel like I'm reading their minds. In this case, I felt the same when reading Latebloomer's post - she was articulating my thoughts almost exactly. I'm going to quote from her article and add some additional commentary. Latebloomer begins as follows: When I look at my little toddler, I am so glad that I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian. She … [Read more...]


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