On homeschooled children and being “well behaved”

large family

"Is she homeschooled?""What?" I stammered, looking up from the ribbon I was examining. Sally and I were at Hobby Lobby to pick up some cloth for a project."Is your daughter homeschooled?"┬áIt was the store attendant who cuts the cloth in the fabric area who was asking."No," I replied. "Why?""Oh, she acts like a homeschooled child. She's so well behaved, like all the homeschooled children who come in here."I told her about positive parenting and explained what it entailed, and … [Read more...]

I write about parenting because Sally changed my life

mother and cihld

As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment. I like your reflections on parenting Sally, but they have little to do with Sally. They are about you reinventing parenting and allowing Sally to teach you. This comment is so true. I never thought when I first gave birth that the little new life I held in my arms would so profoundly change me. Not simply change my life, but actually really truly change who I am as a person. Sally has spurred me to … [Read more...]

Temper tantrums, life, and calming down

breathe

Last week I took Sally to the park. When we pulled in, she completely freaked out. She started crying and yelling.No! Not here! Go back out, mommy!I responded as I normally do.Sally, it's okay, calm down. Tell mommy what's wrong. ... Honey, just take a deep breath, calm down, and use your words. ... Sally, I'm trying to listen to you, but I can't understand what you want while you're crying.This went back and forth for a minute or two, with her crying and me trying to figure out … [Read more...]

“Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood”

mother and baby

Latebloomer recently wrote an excellent post called "Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood." I've often had readers tell me that they read my posts and feel like I'm reading their minds. In this case, I felt the same when reading Latebloomer's post - she was articulating my thoughts almost exactly. I'm going to quote from her article and add some additional commentary. Latebloomer begins as follows: When I look at my little toddler, I am so glad that I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian. She … [Read more...]

Worthwhile Reads: Making up with your child

You remember when I talked recently about positive parenting and saying "I'm sorry?" Well, I recently came upon an excellent article on the same topic: "Eleven Steps for Healing and Restoring the Peace after Being Harsh with Your Child." Here are the eleven steps (be sure to read the full article!):Calm yourselfAccept your mistakeDon't make excusesReflect on your triggersWork on self regulationReleaseGratitude listRe-Connect and ComfortPromise to do … [Read more...]

On Positive Parenting and Saying “I’m Sorry”

I'm sorry

Today I yelled at Sally. I was trying to finish a project and she was getting in the way again and again and I just snapped. I stormed upstairs to finish what I was working on in peace, leaving Sally downstairs with her daddy. I knew yelling like that was not right and I knew I should have taken a deep breath instead of getting more and more annoyed. In retrospect, I should have saved finishing my project until later, or else I should have stopped and found Sally something constructive to do. … [Read more...]

Sex Ed for the Preschooler

My daughter Sally is only in preschool, but I don't want her to grow up to be as ignorant about her body or issues of sexuality as I was, and I want to lay a good foundation for information and understanding now. In other words, this is something I have already done a good bit of thinking about. So far, here is what I have come up with:1. Answer questions honestly and openlySally took me aback the other day by finding my vibrator. I had thought it was thoroughly put away, but apparently … [Read more...]


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