Raised Quiverfull: Struggling with Questions

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What did you struggle with most when you were in the midst of questioning and/or leaving Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology? What was the hardest part? Joe: Hell.  I struggled with that for all of five minutes.  Then, it didn't matter anymore.  There was no proof of anything.  So, if a god required me to believe in what was not firmly believable, I couldn't be required to get it right.  The other thing I struggled with was my guilt for having sex before marriage.  Sure, it was with … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Asking the First Question

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What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience? Joe: I can't put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and fundamentalist Christianity, all the way to a belief in god.  I reject it all now.  But, with no further ado, I will construct a list of a few happenings that caused me to reject everything. 1. … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Mainstream Culture

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How were you first exposed to “mainstream” American culture? What were your first impressions? Joe: I was public schooled all my life and so lived in this "mainstream" culture first hand.  I say "lived in" because it was beaten into us that my siblings and I were sojourners in a foreign country.  Martyrs for the cause of patriarchal Christianity.  The only reason we had to be in this culture was because our evil father had forced it upon us. But I wanted it.  I wanted a girlfriend. … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: The Impact of Purity Teachings

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Do you feel that the purity and courtship teachings you were raised with still have lasting impact on your life today? If so, how? Joe: Yes.  It caused us to have six children and made my wife scared of sex.  While I love my six children, a smaller family would have been a better choice for both of us.  I, for one, am not cut out for so many children.  Every day is a constant battle of sanity.  And yet, as I said before, I really do love my children.  On the other hand, never does a day … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Looking Back on Purity

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How do you feel about purity and courtship teachings today? Have you rejected some parts of it and kept other parts of it? How do you plan to handle these issues with your own children? Joe: I will and am teaching my children about safety, STD's and unwanted pregnancies.  Also, by just being me, they get to see everything they would never want in a partner.  I want them to experiment and learn how to love another person.  I want them to try things academically, emotionally, and … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Courtship

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Did you participate in a parent-guided courtship? If so, what was your experience? If not, why not? Joe: Heck no!  I had escaped my mother's imprisonment by the time I met Kristine, my wife.  Her parents were so happy that their daughter had found such a godly young man who wanted lots of babies and would guide her spiritually.  I put an end to all that by having sex with her before we were married.  We were pregnant at our wedding.  I carried that guilt around with me for almost a … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Purity, Courtship, and Sex Education

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What were you taught about physical purity, emotional purity, and courtship and dating? How was sex education handled? Joe: Sex was bad.  Sure, it was supposed to be beautiful and all AFTER MARRIAGE, but it was bad until then.  You couldn't talk about it, think about it, read about it, look at pictures about it - or so Mama tried to tell us.  I got all my sexual education from my public schooling, even though Mama made us sit out of sex education.  I knew so much about it that I wanted … [Read more...]


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