Dating Is Dead: Long Live Whatever-We-Call-It-Now!

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I recently came upon a post by Marshall Segal on John Piper's blog. It began:Dating is dead. So says the media. Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections. Don’t sit around waiting for a boy to make you a priority, communicate his intentions, or even call you on the phone. Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes. I beg to differ. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or t … [Read more...]

Not Every Courtship Looks Like the Duggars’

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So, courtships. In a post I wrote recently on the Duggars, I mentioned that I "went through a controlling and manipulative courtship process and then lived in fear that my mother would find out I was having sex during my engagement." A reader objected, and this exchange followed:So, I think it's time for a public service announcement: Not all courtships look the same. It seems that the high-profile Duggar courtships have so shaped public perception of what a courtship within this … [Read more...]

Evangelical Christianity’s Patriarchal Alternative to Fifty Shades of Grey

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This is probably the creepiest video you will watch this week:. . . yeah.Old Fashioned is a Christian movie alternative to Fifty Shades of Grey, released the same day last week. In the above video, the producers of Old Fashioned compare the hero of Old Fashioned, Clay, with Christian Grey, and frankly, it's not flattering---to either of them.In fact, I found this advertisement so bad I ended up transcribing it:It’s a hard thing for a dad to accept any man as being worthy of hi … [Read more...]

Fifty Shades of Evangelical Justifications for Patriarchy

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While researching my previous blog post on Fifty Shades of Grey, I came upon an article by evangelical blogger Owen Strachan titled How “50 Shades of Grey” Harms Women & Jesus Saves Them. I'm going to deconstruct this blog post piece by piece to really dig into the problems with its logic. I should note that Strachan is not a nobody. He's a professor at Boyce College and president of the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood.Let's turn to Strachan's article:We commonly hear toda … [Read more...]

Fifty Shades of Disagreement: Evangelicals and Feminists on Fifty Shades of Grey

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I've avoided discussing Fifty Shades of Grey, but I do feel the need to touch on a specific aspect of the controversy that surrounds the book (and now, the film). Namely, I'm fascinated that feminists and evangelical Christians have been the book's most vocal critics. The two would seem unlikely allies! But then, while both groups have tended to condemn Fifty Shades of Grey as toxic, they aren't truly allies in this, because they oppose the books for completely different reasons. Feminists speak … [Read more...]

What I Love about My Feminist Husband

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When I was a teen, my father told me it would take a special kind of man to make me submit. I was headstrong, you see. I was opinionated and bossy. I sometimes envied those quiet, demure girls to whom submission came naturally. That wasn't me.My father couldn't know, then, that the man I would ultimately marry wouldn't expect me to submit to him. I didn't know, then, that I would reject the entire idea of wifely submission before I walked down the aisle. My life changed a lot in the four … [Read more...]

Today I’m Proud of Joshua Harris

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So, have you heard the news? Joshua Harris is stepping down from his role of head pastor of Covenant Life Church and heading to Vancouver to attend seminary at Regent College. I don't know much about Regent, though the Washington Post described it as "mainstream." Not only that, but Josh is planning to send his kids to public school while he attends seminary. Public school. This is huge, and it's hard to describe how much it means to me.Josh Harris was the oldest child of Greg Harris, a w … [Read more...]


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