Do Traditional Gender Roles Lead to Good Sex? No.

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I recently read a blog post from several years ago that had me doing that whole "but . . . wait . . . what . . . NO" thing throughout my reading of it. I thought I'd share, because illustrates something we've seen before---the idea that anything good in a marriage must of necessity be a result of following the gender roles God laid out, not, you know, a result of things like communication or compromise. I've covered posts in the past by women who are functionally living in egalitarian marriages … [Read more...]

The Longsuffering Godly Abused Wife

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One thing we read a lot about in Created To Be His Help Meet was how to win an unsaved of sinning husband. Debi's basic advice was to submit, to be subservient, and to obey with a smile. I recently came upon a blog post from this past summer by a woman who claims she followed this advice, and successfully won over her porn-addicted husband. Let's take a look, shall we?The author begins by describing her childhood and teenage years at length. She writes that she was the target of bullying, a … [Read more...]

Does He Treat You Right?

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In my previous post, I wrote about cultural messaging regarding how fathers should respond to their daughters dating both displays an utter lack of trust of young women and a normalization of violence toward other males. Two readers, however, pointed out that this messaging also portrays males as inherently sexual predators and thugs.Reader Nathaniel put it like this: I've been lucky enough to have grown in a community that never had anyone say something like this to me. Still pisses me off … [Read more...]

Be Still My Heart: Crushes and Guy-Girl Friendships

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By some quirk, the families we spent the most time with all had girls my age, and no boys my age whatsoever. I don't know why this was the case, because it wasn't like my mom was intentionally avoiding befriending people who had sons my age. Yes, there were a few families with boys my age in our homeschool community, and occasionally we were in the same co-ops with them. But in my family, it was difficult to form friendships with kids if their parents weren't friends of my parents, so I never … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Courting a Stranger

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As you may know, the Duggars announced last week that their daughter Jessa is now courting. I've watched the conversation surrounding this announcement, and to be honest, my gut reaction has been to wish people would leave the poor girl alone. This is as close as Jessa is allowed to come to dating, and she almost certainly has all of the happy jitters that come with first love. I remember that time myself and have a lot of empathy for Jessa, and some of the more snarky responses I've seen have … [Read more...]

Guest Post: “You Are Not Your Own”: Unmarried Women Belong To Their Parents?

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A Guest Post by Sarah MoonOriginally posted on Sarah over the Moon, an awesome blog full of feminist analysis of evangelical culture***Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault***In case you haven’t been following my You Are Not Your Own series (you can catch up here), I analyzed four Christian dating books (Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable) and I came up with four significant findings related to the area of rape and sexual a … [Read more...]

Kings, Queens, Spheres, and Kingdoms

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I remember being over at a friend's house when her dad called to say he was on his way home. My friend's mom immediately went into motion: "The king is coming, the king is coming! Quick guys, clean up, make everything ready, the king is coming!" I also have memories of my mother saying that my father was the king, but she was the queen. Even Debi Pearl herself has used the king/queen husband/wife motif inCreated To Be His Help Meet.But a recent commenter drew attention to something … [Read more...]


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