Fifty Shades of Disagreement: Evangelicals and Feminists on Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Abuse

I've avoided discussing Fifty Shades of Grey, but I do feel the need to touch on a specific aspect of the controversy that surrounds the book (and now, the film). Namely, I'm fascinated that feminists and evangelical Christians have been the book's most vocal critics. The two would seem unlikely allies! But then, while both groups have tended to condemn Fifty Shades of Grey as toxic, they aren't truly allies in this, because they oppose the books for completely different reasons. Feminists speak … [Read more...]

What I Love about My Feminist Husband


When I was a teen, my father told me it would take a special kind of man to make me submit. I was headstrong, you see. I was opinionated and bossy. I sometimes envied those quiet, demure girls to whom submission came naturally. That wasn't me.My father couldn't know, then, that the man I would ultimately marry wouldn't expect me to submit to him. I didn't know, then, that I would reject the entire idea of wifely submission before I walked down the aisle. My life changed a lot in the four … [Read more...]

Today I’m Proud of Joshua Harris


So, have you heard the news? Joshua Harris is stepping down from his role of head pastor of Covenant Life Church and heading to Vancouver to attend seminary at Regent College. I don't know much about Regent, though the Washington Post described it as "mainstream." Not only that, but Josh is planning to send his kids to public school while he attends seminary. Public school. This is huge, and it's hard to describe how much it means to me.Josh Harris was the oldest child of Greg Harris, a w … [Read more...]

“Hey, Dreamboat!”: Teenage Girls Get Mocked Too


I wrote a week ago about conversations within gaming, fandom, and nerd culture over dating and social reclusiveness. Specifically, I looked at a post by a self-described "nerdy guy" about his adolescent and young adult anger toward women for not dating him and a response post by a self-described "nerdy girl" pointing out that guys aren't the only ones to be shy, socially awkward, and thwarted in love. Today I want to build on that conversation with another point.I've seen men online (and, … [Read more...]

Longing for Love; Or, It’s Not Just Nerdy Boys


I've generally refrained from commenting on the #gamergate controversy and issues surrounding nerd or gamer culture. Partly this is because I have never been a nerd or a gamer. I suppose my status as a Whovian, my love for Firefly, and my interest in cosplay may place me on the outskirts of those communities, nut I've never felt connected enough to claim membership. But I do want to weigh in for a moment. I've noticed that many adolescent and young adult men in nerd/gamer culture seem to feel … [Read more...]

Do Traditional Gender Roles Lead to Good Sex? No.


I recently read a blog post from several years ago that had me doing that whole "but . . . wait . . . what . . . NO" thing throughout my reading of it. I thought I'd share, because illustrates something we've seen before---the idea that anything good in a marriage must of necessity be a result of following the gender roles God laid out, not, you know, a result of things like communication or compromise. I've covered posts in the past by women who are functionally living in egalitarian marriages … [Read more...]

The Longsuffering Godly Abused Wife


One thing we read a lot about in Created To Be His Help Meet was how to win an unsaved of sinning husband. Debi's basic advice was to submit, to be subservient, and to obey with a smile. I recently came upon a blog post from this past summer by a woman who claims she followed this advice, and successfully won over her porn-addicted husband. Let's take a look, shall we?The author begins by describing her childhood and teenage years at length. She writes that she was the target of bullying, a … [Read more...]