Guest Post: Courting a Stranger


As you may know, the Duggars announced last week that their daughter Jessa is now courting. I've watched the conversation surrounding this announcement, and to be honest, my gut reaction has been to wish people would leave the poor girl alone. This is as close as Jessa is allowed to come to dating, and she almost certainly has all of the happy jitters that come with first love. I remember that time myself and have a lot of empathy for Jessa, and some of the more snarky responses I've seen have … [Read more...]

Guest Post: “You Are Not Your Own”: Unmarried Women Belong To Their Parents?


A Guest Post by Sarah MoonOriginally posted on Sarah over the Moon, an awesome blog full of feminist analysis of evangelical culture***Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault***In case you haven’t been following my You Are Not Your Own series (you can catch up here), I analyzed four Christian dating books (Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable) and I came up with four significant findings related to the area of rape and sexual a … [Read more...]

Kings, Queens, Spheres, and Kingdoms


I remember being over at a friend's house when her dad called to say he was on his way home. My friend's mom immediately went into motion: "The king is coming, the king is coming! Quick guys, clean up, make everything ready, the king is coming!" I also have memories of my mother saying that my father was the king, but she was the queen. Even Debi Pearl herself has used the king/queen husband/wife motif inCreated To Be His Help Meet.But a recent commenter drew attention to something … [Read more...]

A Twisted Father/Daughter Relationship

Father Daughter Dance

There is nothing wrong with arguing that a strong father/daughter relationship is important---if, that is, you're also arguing that strong parent/child relationships in general are important. But there's something weird when you elevate the father/daughter relationship above these others and start arguing that fathers and daughters should find in each other what they would otherwise go looking for in sexual and romantic relationships.Voddie Baucham says that middle aged men should turn to … [Read more...]

Teenage Daughters and Their Fathers

dad teen daughter kiss on head

I recently wrote about a group called "Bright Lights" that focuses on urging girls to abstain not only from sex and dating but also from male friendships---until marriage, of course. One of the conference topics, according to their website, is "Giving Your Heart to Your Father." One of the commenters responded to that as follows: I think the "Your Father" in the title meant God, but I could be wrong since there is the creepy incestuous vibe in the purity movement. I replied and let her know … [Read more...]

True Womanhood: Get Abused, Win a Crown!

Christian feminist blogger Caris Adel has been reviewing DeMoss and Kassian's bible study for women, True Woman 101 Divine Design, which is the same genre as Debi Pearl's Created To Be His Help Meet. When I write about Debi, I am often told that Debi is extreme, that her teachings are not widespread among evangelicals, etc. As DeMoss and Kassian reveal, however, this is incorrect. (You've heard of Kassian and DeMoss on this blog before, in a two-part guest series.) I want to quote from one s … [Read more...]

Homeschool Relationships in the Purity Culture

A guest rant by KateThis is my experience: Dating is only if you want to get married, so don’t date in high school. Be careful when you talk to guys, because you might lead them on, so just be careful what you say and how you act. Making friends of the opposite sex is a useless endeavor anyway, since you will undoubetedly end up attracted to each other, and there is no point having a relationship in high school.But just say you try starting a friendship with someone, when you’ve been tol … [Read more...]