Things Women Hear in the Church

church

I ran across two different articles today, each of which would have probably seemed only more appalling to me if they weren't simply parroting things I heard growing up as a conservative evangelical.The first was called True Love Doesn't Wait, written by a married father of six. The basic premise? Church singles need to stop waiting for true love and just get married already. The author responds to a blog post made popular in the fury of Christian blogging on purity that followed a post on … [Read more...]

Purity Culture and Staying in Abusive Relationships

relationship abuse

There is one part of the purity doctrines that I don't think has been talked about often enough, and that is that the emphasis on sexual or emotional purity leads women to stay in abusive relationships rather than leave, because if they leave, having given up their sexual and emotional purity, they will be ruined and no other man will have them. This reality was recently elucidated in a rather moving post by Samantha of Defeating the Dragons: When I was fourteen, I went to a month-long summer c … [Read more...]

Dominance and Submission or a Cooperative Partnership?

man-on-a-leash4

Supporters of patriarchal gender roles and hierarchical marriage relationships often argue that feminists want to pit men and women against each other, but what they don't realize is that by turning marriage into a relationship based on dominance and submission, they are the ones pitting men and women against each other. In seeking equality, feminism envisions relationships built not on dominance and submission but rather on communication and cooperation, companionship founded on mutual respect, … [Read more...]

Homeschooling under the Influence

convention

After I wrote my posts on academics and socialization, I realized that there is another way homeschooling affected my life---and it's no less significant. In fact, it's a whole lot more significant. Quite simply, homeschooling affected my life because it changed my parents. When I was born, my parents were fairly ordinary evangelical Christians. That didn't last. Their involvement in the homeschool movement introduced them to new ideas they had not before been exposed to---ideas put forward by … [Read more...]

Jimmy Kimmell on the Problem with Punishing Children

James Kimmell Children and Punishment

[Text: What bothers me so much about punishing children is that it is a conscious effort to hurt them . . . . The question that must be asked is why we are, and have been, so willing to hurt our children in order to get them to behave---to treat them as criminals, slaves, and animals. ~ James Kimmell] I love the above image and feel that it really encapsulates a lot of my thoughts. I personally left off punishing my daughter Sally about a year or so ago. And you know what? The sky hasn't … [Read more...]

Guest Post: I Hugged Dating Hello, Part V: Developing Intellectual Intimacy

intellectual intimacy

A guest post by MollyPart V of An Open Letter to Joshua Harris “The premise of dating is ‘I’m attracted to you; therefore let’s get to know each other.’ The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is ‘We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.’ If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it’s an added bonus” (39). Dear Josh,Intellectual intimacy was the hardest section for me to write because you don’t really discuss it beyond fin … [Read more...]

Guest Post: I Hugged Dating Hello, Part IV: Casting Out Fear at the Intersection of Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

self-care

A guest post by MollyPart IV of An Open Letter to Joshua Harris “…I have no business asking for a girl’s heart and exclusive affections if I’m not ready to consider marriage. Until I can do that, I’d only be using that girl to meet my short-term needs, not seeking to bless her for the long term. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet! But I wouldn’t truly be loving her and putting her interests first” (19).“In most cases, especially when we’re younger, dating is short term … [Read more...]


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