A Time To Conceal and a Time To Tell

Sometimes I come upon an article that speaks to my experiences and struggles so well that I just want to give the author a giant squeeze. Sometimes I come upon an article that explains something about myself that even I hadn't been able to articulate. An article I came upon yesterday was one of these. Let me excerpt the main points and then explain what I mean. The article is called "Why I Don't Tell People I Was in a Cult." I am part of a minority group that I call "People with a Big Story" f … [Read more...]


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Things Women Hear in the Church

I ran across two different articles today, each of which would have probably seemed only more appalling to me if they weren't simply parroting things I heard growing up as a conservative evangelical.The first was called True Love Doesn't Wait, written by a married father of six. The basic premise? Church singles need to stop waiting for true love and just get married already. The author responds to a blog post made popular in the fury of Christian blogging on purity that followed a post on … [Read more...]


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Purity Culture and Staying in Abusive Relationships

There is one part of the purity doctrines that I don't think has been talked about often enough, and that is that the emphasis on sexual or emotional purity leads women to stay in abusive relationships rather than leave, because if they leave, having given up their sexual and emotional purity, they will be ruined and no other man will have them. This reality was recently elucidated in a rather moving post by Samantha of Defeating the Dragons: When I was fourteen, I went to a month-long summer c … [Read more...]


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Dominance and Submission or a Cooperative Partnership?

Supporters of patriarchal gender roles and hierarchical marriage relationships often argue that feminists want to pit men and women against each other, but what they don't realize is that by turning marriage into a relationship based on dominance and submission, they are the ones pitting men and women against each other. In seeking equality, feminism envisions relationships built not on dominance and submission but rather on communication and cooperation, companionship founded on mutual respect, … [Read more...]


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Homeschooling under the Influence

After I wrote my posts on academics and socialization, I realized that there is another way homeschooling affected my life---and it's no less significant. In fact, it's a whole lot more significant. Quite simply, homeschooling affected my life because it changed my parents. When I was born, my parents were fairly ordinary evangelical Christians. That didn't last. Their involvement in the homeschool movement introduced them to new ideas they had not before been exposed to---ideas put forward by … [Read more...]


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The Problem with Punishing Children

[Image eaten by the internet] [Text: What bothers me so much about punishing children is that it is a conscious effort to hurt them . . . . The question that must be asked is why we are, and have been, so willing to hurt our children in order to get them to behave---to treat them as criminals, slaves, and animals. ~ James Kimmell] I love the above image and feel that it really encapsulates a lot of my thoughts. I personally left off punishing my daughter Sally about a year or so ago. And you … [Read more...]


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Guest Post: I Hugged Dating Hello, Part V: Developing Intellectual Intimacy

A guest post by MollyPart V of An Open Letter to Joshua Harris “The premise of dating is ‘I’m attracted to you; therefore let’s get to know each other.’ The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is ‘We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.’ If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it’s an added bonus” (39). Dear Josh,Intellectual intimacy was the hardest section for me to write because you don’t really discuss it beyond fin … [Read more...]


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