A Broken Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father's Day. I didn't call my dad. Part of me says I should have. He is my dad, and I do love him, after all. I could have called him. But the thing is, if I had called all that would have resulted is a strained conversation with a surface-level exchange. We would both have had to pretend that everything that happened between us several years ago didn't. It would have been fake. Yesterday Sierra posted a song that really speaks to my relationship with my dad. Here are some … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Relationships with Siblings

family q4

Have any of your siblings (or perhaps even parents) left Quiverfull/Christian Patriarchy ideology? How do you approach the relationships with siblings who have not? Joe: I would say half of my siblings have left and the other half still hang on to a little bit of the ideology or envelope themselves in it.  All I can do is communicate factual and logical information to them.  Recently, my brother left a Gothard law college because of facts I led him to and others have begun to vaccinate their … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Coming “Out”

family q3

For those who are no longer Christian, are you “out” to your parents or siblings? If so, how did you do it and how did they respond? Joe: I am out to everyone and their grandma.  Most of them roll their eyes.  Others have followed in my footsteps.  Some mock me behind the scenes.  Some even confront me with an audience.  Regardless, I still love them all. Latebloomer: I still consider myself a Christian, although I’m so liberal in my opinions that many Christians would not want to … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Relationship with Family Today

family q2

What is your relationship with your parents and siblings like today? What is your relationship with those you grew up with who remained in the movement like? Joe: I have completely closed the door on all communication with my mother.  No calls, no emails, no letters, no visits, nothing.  The mind games she played became too much for my children and, most of all, my wife, that we mutually decided to close the door on that area of our life. My siblings and I were very close growing up.  We … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: The Family Responds to Questioning

familiy q1

How did your parents and siblings respond to you questioning/rejecting their beliefs? How did those you grew up with respond? Joe: When I met, Kristine, the woman I have been married to for almost 11 years, I had already left my singly mother who very sincerely and deeply followed Bill Gothard.  Regardless of her lifestyle. I still felt that I needed to be completely open with her about everything in my life.  Knowing she would be hateful toward Kristine, I told her anyway - and she was … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: How Many Remained?

questioning q4

Among those you grew up around who were also raised with Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology, what proportion has remained in the movement and what proportion has left? Joe: The majority have left the movement and still cling to the religion.  I relate more to my new friends. Latebloomer: I am not really in contact with any of the parents of the movement; however, of the teens, I don’t know of anyone who remained in the movement in adulthood.  Today, they cover a wide range of … [Read more...]

Dear Libby: How can I help my cousins?

Dear Libby, The reason I'm emailing is because my husband's uncle is really into the quiverfull, biblical patriarchy stuff and I'm really concerned about his daughters. They're home-schooled, not going to uni and seem to be just waiting at home to get married. I'm pretty worried about them and what options they've got for their futures. They live in New Zealand, so the only contact is via facebook at the moment. Do you think it's possible to try and challenge them to think through their … [Read more...]


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