Obtaining Consent Doesn’t End with Marriage

I am deeply troubled by She Only Said "Yes" Once, an article I recently came upon on Faith It by Pastor Reggie Osborne. It's very long. Let me give you a sample: I stood on a stage in the church I’d grown up in.  I can only vaguely remember my wedding, but I’ll never forget seeing Allison emerge from the hallway at the back of the sanctuary. Beautiful. . . .We stood before the pastor, and we went through the motions of the service.  It feels sacrilege to says this, but they were jus … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Statutory Rape in Christian Homeschool Perspective

When I first started blogging five years ago, I was unaware of any cases of sexual abuse in my own evangelical homeschool community of origin. In the last two years, that has changed. I'm not going to give any names or details here. I do, however, want to talk about some overarching themes and ideas I've noticed."In another day and age, they would have just made him marry her.""Why should he go to jail? All he did was start a relationship."These are actual things I have heard said … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Catholics, Evangelicals, and Sexual “Purity”

Yesterday I posted an email from a reader about a speaker at her Catholic high school. I spent some time dissecting a number of the things this reader reported that the speaker said, and spoke briefly about the differences and similarities in evangelical and Catholic teachings about sex, purity, and marriage. Today I want to get into these differences in a bit more depth and look a bit further at this particular speaker---Jason Evert---and his organization.Jason Evert has an MA in theology … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

“Terrifying” Josh Duggar Porn Star Allegations Reveal the Depravity of Evangelicals’ Sexual Ethic

Earlier today, InTouch unveiled allegations by stripper and porn star Danica Dillon that Josh Duggar paid her for sex and then engaged in rough sex that she found "terrifying" and "traumatic." While Dillon described the encounter as consensual, she made it clear that she was not comfortable with what took place between them. You can read more here: “He walked into the Gold Club like a normal patron and said he’d been a fan for a long time and has watched my career grow — he even said from before … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Can You Believe Premarital Sex Is a Sin without Stigmatizing Unwed Motherhood?

Several years ago, in a Facebook conversation with a family friend, I argued that pro-life individuals should favor reducing the stigma on unwed mothers. I argued that when an unmarried woman decides whether to keep a pregnancy or have an abortion, the stigma unwed mothers face factors into her decision (whether consciously or not), and that reducing the stigma would make women in this position more likely to opt to keep their pregnancies. This family friend disagreed vehemently, arguing that … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Josh was “Just Curious about Girls” and the Rank Hypocrisy of the Duggar Excuse Machine

This past Friday, Jill and Jessa repeated their parents' minimization of their brother's actions, complete with their insistence that Josh was "just curious about girls." And what really hit me, hearing that, was the hypocrisy of all of this.First, they're treating what Josh did as something normal for boys his age when molesting prepubescent girls as a teen is not normal sexual behavior for adolescents. But more than that, this is the family that only allows "side hugs" before marriage, and … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

How Treating Sexual Thoughts as “Sin” Undermines Relationships

As an evangelical child and adolescent, I grew up thinking that I would marry a man who would spend his entire life struggling with lustful thoughts---that he would need an accountability partner to help prevent him from cheating on me and that from time to time he would come to me and confess some "sexual sin," whether that be sexual thoughts or pornography use. I anticipated standing by my man as he spent his life battling with sexual desire. And then I grew up and married a guy who doesn't e … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook: