The Lesson of the 2013 MTV VMAs: Being Sexual While Female Is Worse Than Being Rapey or Racist

August 28, 2013 by 110 Comments
Miley

So. Miley Cyrus. It seems she sang a song at the 2013 MTV VMAs.Mostly I've just been watching the multiple conversations going on about Miley's performance. But since the discussion hasn't shown any signs of letting up yet, I thought I'd dip my toe in. But since so much has been said already, I want to do so by highlighting some of the work of others, and also by opening the floor for commenters to post additional articles they thought were particularly thought-provoking---or particularly … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Feminism Tagged With: , , , 110 Comments

My Brothers Too: Purity Culture and Double Standards

July 18, 2013 by 133 Comments
alg-dating-jpg

Every time purity culture issues come up---purity rings, purity balls, saving your first kiss for the wedding---someone inevitably makes an argument about double standards. Sometimes these commenters are absolutely right---modesty discussions almost without fail involve a double standard---but other times, well, it's not so simple.In the conservative evangelical homeschool circles I ran in as a teen and young adult, boys didn't get a pass on not having sex before marriage. Guys were expected … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Patriarchy, Purity Tagged With: , , 133 Comments

Rachel Held Evans: Missing the Mark on Sexual Ethics

June 17, 2013 by 341 Comments
path

Rachel Held Evans has been a big critic of what I call the "purity culture"---and I think that's great!---but today she's written a post on why people should still wait for marriage to have sex. The problem with the evangelical purity culture, as I see it, isn’t that it teaches saving sex for marriage, but that it equates virginity with sexual wholeness and therefore as something that can be lost or given or taken away in a single moment. Perhaps instead of virginity…or even purity (which ca … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism, Purity Tagged With: 341 Comments

Dear Little Girl: Jesus Doesn’t Want Your Sex Life

June 13, 2013 by 330 Comments
Virginity

This little girl is pledging her sex life to Jesus:The O2 Experience is an organization that goes around the country giving talks on "Life, Death, Sex, and Romance"---which of course is code for "how to avoid both hell and sex before marriage." On their webpage they describe their conferences as "an opportunity for young people to hear the life-changing message of the gospel and understand God's plan for their sex lives." From a reading of the group's webpage, it looks like you take sex and … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Purity Tagged With: 330 Comments

In Which Sally Grasps Contraception

June 10, 2013 by 99 Comments
iud

"Mommy, what's this?"In her hand Sally held a condom, still in its wrapper. Sean had cleaned out his desk earlier in the day, and it had somehow ended up on the floor, a leftover from last summer between when Bobby was born and when I had my IUD put in. I could have just brushed the question off with a non-answer---Sally's only in preschool, by the way---but I decided against that. Instead, I pulled out my copy of Our Bodies Ourselves and showed Sally diagrams of the female reproductive … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: , 99 Comments

Question: What Do Presents, Chocolate Bars, Roses, Chewing Gum, and Packing Tape Have in Common?

June 6, 2013 by 202 Comments
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Answer: Nobody wants them when they're used.Presents, chocolate bars, roses, chewing gum, and packing tape have all been used by abstinence educators and various Christian leaders and teachers to illustrate to young people how having sex before marriage will ruin them and leave them disgusting and unwanted. Those who grew up in the purity culture probably knew the answer to the question asked in the title before even opening this post.I was reminded of this when reader Laura left this … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Purity Tagged With: , 202 Comments

Whence Opposition to Birth Control? An Illustration.

May 14, 2013 by 216 Comments
flowers

I've written before suggesting that if pro-lifers are consistent, they should be in favor of birth control. And indeed, there are some who are. But there seem to be more who aren't, and that is only more true when it comes to Catholics. I recently came upon an illustration that explains how Catholic pro-lifers can be anti-birth control, and anti-abortion at the same time.Click the illustration to view it larger. For those who can't view the image, let me offer a brief description.On the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Purity Tagged With: , , , 216 Comments

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