What Is “Sexy”?

Danielle of From Two to One has posed a question: What does sexy mean?  She and I both know the dictionary definition, of course, which is usually something like "sexually attractive or exciting" or "sexually suggestive or stimulating." But things are are often further contextualized than a simple dictionary definition allows.One thing Danielle said especially resonated: In my middle school and teen years, sexy increasingly meant something both powerful and unsafe. It was powerful in that … [Read more...]


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Forward Thinking: What would you tell teenagers about sex?

I'ts that time of the month again! Head on over to Camels with Hammers to see Dan's roundup of the posts written in response to his prompt on collective mourning two weeks ago, and with that said, it's time to turn to our next Forward Thinking prompt.I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the problems of the purity culture's elevation of virginity. The evangelicalism I grew up in made abstinence before marriage a critical matter of faith, and did it's utmost to persuade of scare … [Read more...]


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Christian Bloggers Pushing Back on Virginity

I am loving what is going on this week in the Christian blogosphere. There is a conversation on virginity going on the likes of which I never expected to see. I think this is one thing that is so very powerful about the internet: it allows otherwise ordinary people to speak up and make a difference, one person's words igniting another person's words in a groundswell of change. There was a time when the power to influence people's minds and shape their theology lay almost entirely in the hands of … [Read more...]


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More Chores for Men = Less Sex?

Honestly, I really think reading how the media reports academic studies is generally a bad idea. This is how you get headlines like this: It may be the 21st century, but a new study suggests sticking to old values may reap benefits — that is, if you like sex. (source)Want to have more sex? Men, stop helping with the chores. (source)Couples wanting to improve their sex lives may want to look at how they divide household chores, because men and women who follow traditional roles have sex m … [Read more...]


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Notes on Virginity: Idolizing My Inexperience

Elizabeth Esther has been writing some excellent pieces about the purity culture and virginity recently, and others have joined in. Obviously, I've written about this sort of thing a lot myself, but there was one thing in particular Elizabeth Esther's post got me thinking about, and that's just how much I was taught to prize my virginity, and not just my physical virginity but my relational and emotional virginity as well.By the time I was halfway through college, I hadn't so much as held ha … [Read more...]


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Married, with Friends

I recently came upon a book called Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Christian author Jerry B. Jenkins. With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions - how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic?The advice from best-selling author Jerry B. Jenkins is this: plant preventative … [Read more...]


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A Novel Approach to Rape Prevention

Many Indian men have responded to last month's gruesome rape by arguing that Indian women must be careful what they wear or where they go if they want to avoid being raped. Don't wear "slutty" clothes, don't stay out late or go to this or that area of town, that sort of thing. Well, here's a piece of satire that responds by asking what it would look like if we responded to sexual assault by limiting men's freedom rather than by limiting women's freedom: Calls for Men to Be Blindfolded in … [Read more...]


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