Forward Thinking: Talking to Teenagers about Sex

I spend more time talking about how the purity culture “does it wrong” than about what it looks like to be doing it right. I want to change that.Forward Thinking is a values development project created in collaboration with Dan Fincke of Camels with Hammers. Dan is introducing our next prompt today (head on over to see it!), but in this post I will pull together some of the responses to this month's prompt: "What would you tell teenagers about sex?"Not only were there a large number of bl … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Men Aren’t Sex-Addled Beasts, They’re Just Individuals

Men are no more rapists in their natural state than I am asexual in my natural state.~ Hannah As a young conservative evangelical, I was taught that I had to dress modestly to protect them from "stumbling" into sexual sin, and that it was natural for a guy to keep pushing for sexual favors, and it was my job to say no. I was taught that men were visual and easily aroused, and that men think about sex constantly. I was taught that men were to pursue and women were to be pursued, and that I … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

What Is “Sexy”?

Danielle of From Two to One has posed a question: What does sexy mean?  She and I both know the dictionary definition, of course, which is usually something like "sexually attractive or exciting" or "sexually suggestive or stimulating." But things are are often further contextualized than a simple dictionary definition allows.One thing Danielle said especially resonated: In my middle school and teen years, sexy increasingly meant something both powerful and unsafe. It was powerful in that … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Forward Thinking: What would you tell teenagers about sex?

I'ts that time of the month again! Head on over to Camels with Hammers to see Dan's roundup of the posts written in response to his prompt on collective mourning two weeks ago, and with that said, it's time to turn to our next Forward Thinking prompt.I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the problems of the purity culture's elevation of virginity. The evangelicalism I grew up in made abstinence before marriage a critical matter of faith, and did it's utmost to persuade of scare … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Christian Bloggers Pushing Back on Virginity

I am loving what is going on this week in the Christian blogosphere. There is a conversation on virginity going on the likes of which I never expected to see. I think this is one thing that is so very powerful about the internet: it allows otherwise ordinary people to speak up and make a difference, one person's words igniting another person's words in a groundswell of change. There was a time when the power to influence people's minds and shape their theology lay almost entirely in the hands of … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

More Chores for Men = Less Sex?

Honestly, I really think reading how the media reports academic studies is generally a bad idea. This is how you get headlines like this: It may be the 21st century, but a new study suggests sticking to old values may reap benefits — that is, if you like sex. (source)Want to have more sex? Men, stop helping with the chores. (source)Couples wanting to improve their sex lives may want to look at how they divide household chores, because men and women who follow traditional roles have sex m … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook:

Notes on Virginity: Idolizing My Inexperience

Elizabeth Esther has been writing some excellent pieces about the purity culture and virginity recently, and others have joined in. Obviously, I've written about this sort of thing a lot myself, but there was one thing in particular Elizabeth Esther's post got me thinking about, and that's just how much I was taught to prize my virginity, and not just my physical virginity but my relational and emotional virginity as well.By the time I was halfway through college, I hadn't so much as held ha … [Read more...]


Stay in touch with Love, Joy, Feminism on Facebook: