FYI (A Letter to My Daughter Sally)


Dear Sally,I saw something today that made me think of you. It was a blog post addressed to teenage girls. Oh I know, you're only four, but in ten years you'll be fourteen. It was that fourteen-year-old you I couldn't help but think of when I read this post, and inside, my heart broke for you.There will be adults in your world who are very concerned about what you wear and how you carry your body and what you do with it. There will be adults in your life who care more about whether you … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Allowing the Devil To Undress You: The Slut-Shaming of a Former Homeschooler


A Guest Post by Ryan StollarOriginally posted on Homeschoolers AnonymousA disgrace.A destructive force against families.Homeschool dropout.A rat turd.These are but a number of phrases used on HSLDA’s Facebook page in reference to Teresa Scanlan, a former homeschooler attending Patrick Henry College. These are not phrases used by HSLDA; in fact, HSLDA has championed Teresa as a homeschool success story. But these phrases are also not coming from anti-homeschoolers or l … [Read more...]

Jimmy Kimmell on the Problem with Punishing Children

James Kimmell Children and Punishment

[Text: What bothers me so much about punishing children is that it is a conscious effort to hurt them . . . . The question that must be asked is why we are, and have been, so willing to hurt our children in order to get them to behave---to treat them as criminals, slaves, and animals. ~ James Kimmell] I love the above image and feel that it really encapsulates a lot of my thoughts. I personally left off punishing my daughter Sally about a year or so ago. And you know what? The sky hasn't … [Read more...]

The Purity Culture and “Lust”


Growing up, "lust" was a big no no. No lusting allowed! Absolutely none! Lust was sinful, shameful, evil. It was the kind of word that was whispered. And what exactly was lust? Joshua Harris, the man who single handedly normalized the term "courtship" in evangelicalism, wrote a book called Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) in which he offered the following definition: Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden. In other words, conservative evangelicals and fundamentalists generally define … [Read more...]

The Fruit of Spanking: Rage and Shame

This is part of a series in which I am re-posting a number of posts I've written in the past on issues involving parenting and Michael and Debi Pearl. I think these posts may be of interest to new readers, and if you're a reader who has been around with me since the beginning, they may be worth a re-read. This post was originally published here.   As I remember it, my parents didn’t spank me all that often. When I was spanked it was usually just three licks with a wooden paddle. My mom only r … [Read more...]

You’re a sinner, you’re a sinner, you’re a SINNER!

  I just read this article about how fundamentalist Christian boarding schools are luring in Chinese exchange students with promises of sound economics and repaying them with religious indoctrination. This quote from one such student struck me:  “Before, what I believed, what Chinese people believe, is that people are innately good,” she said. “I realized that I was sinful. I was lying, not loving. Those are as bad as killing someone. There’s no difference between me and a murdere … [Read more...]

A Self-Created Problem

For a long time, I couldn't understand how anyone would turn down God's gift of salvation. Who wouldn't want to be saved? But really, the answer to that question was right in front of me, and I should have seen it. I was taught that the first step of evangelism involves convincing a person that he or she is a sinner. Once you've convinced them that they're sinners, then you tell them, using the Bible, that the punishment for sin is eternal torture in hell after they die. Once you've got them … [Read more...]