Command v. Suggestion: “Wives, submit!” and “Husbands, love!”

spiritual abuse2

Any Christian Patriarchy advocate reading my post yesterday would surely have been shaking his or her head and saying "but it's all about servant leadership, not a dictatorship!" or "women may be commanded to submit to their husbands, but God also commands men to love their wives!" These are the two go-to excuses made by defenders of Christian Patriarchy, who argue that those men who are dictatorial and domineering simply aren't doing it right.I recently read a post on Sober Second Look cal … [Read more...]

“Different but Complementary” and “Separate but Equal”

I recently ran across a short post on Kaelee Bates, a blog run by a woman with previous experience with Christian Patriarchy. Here is an excerpt: "Different but Complimentary."I cannot shake how similar that phrase is to, "separate but equal"I have attempted to write on this subject numerous times, but the truth is I am still too angry and raw. I just want to scream at everyone, "THIS IS NOT EQUALITY!" ...There is no way for me to write about this subject and keep my anger out of … [Read more...]

Christian Patriarchy and Bodily Ownership

My mother taught my sisters and I that our bodies belonged to our father. She told us that if we wanted to alter our bodies by a piercing or tattoo, that had to go through him - even if we were adults. She told us that once we married, our bodies would belong to our husbands, and we would likewise have to get permission from them to alter our bodies in any way.Christian Patriarchy teaches that every female has a god-given male authority, or male "head," to whom she must submit. And submit … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Marriage

marriage fighting

In many ways, every Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull couple has a different dynamic. What sort of a dynamic did your parents have? Was one more sold on the Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology than the other? Or, if you grew up in a broken family, how did this affect your experience? Joe: When Mama discovered patriarchy, my parents were already divorced.  My dad had attended an IBLP Basic seminar as a young college student.  He brought the materials home to his dad who promptly threw it a … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 2: The Botkins

In Part 1 I discussed the definition of emotional incest. Today I will look at teachings of leading Christian Patriarchy organization Vision Forum and its close affiliates, the Botkins, which for all intents and purposes mandate emotional incest.Vision Forum teaches that adult daughters are to stay at home until they marry. More than that, it teaches that they are under their father's authority just as they will after marriage be under their husband's authority, and that while they remain at … [Read more...]

Spanking, Fear, and Privileging Obedience

This is part of a series in which I am re-posting a number of posts I've written in the past on issues involving parenting and Michael and Debi Pearl. I think these posts may be of interest to new readers, and if you're a reader who has been around with me since the beginning, they may be worth a re-read. This post was originally published here.   Growing up on Michael Pearl’s discipline teachings, James Dobson always seemed mild in comparison. My impression was always that Pearl was about ab … [Read more...]

Kirk Cameron supports female slavery

I keep seeing calls for Kirk Cameron to take back his homophobic comments, and articles about how awful what he said was. I'm glad for the progress all this shows is being made in the advancement of LGBTQ rights, but I would like to add something as long as we're calling for Kirk Cameron to repudiate things.I want to call on Kirk Cameron to cut his ties with Doug Phillips, the Christian Patriarchy leader who has proudly said: “Daughters aren’t to be independent. They’re not to act outside the s … [Read more...]


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