Batkid Saves San Francisco

If you skipped the Internet this weekend, you might have missed Batkid. And that would be a mistake.

On Friday, the city of San Francisco (in partnership with the Make a Wish Foundation) transformed into Gotham to help fulfill the wish of a five-year-old boy with leukemia to be Batman for a day. Here’s a summary of what happened.

Twelve thousand volunteers showed up to help, and the White House tweeted that it is “rooting” for Batkid.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office released a fake press release thanking Batkid for detaining the Riddler and Penguin. Here’s an excerpt:

According to the indictment, “The Penguin” and “The Riddler” thought it was a good idea to put an unnamed female in the path of a cable car, rob a bank, and kidnap San Francisco Giants mascot Lou Seal. Somehow they thought these latest stunts would go undetected by Batkid. However, at approximately 9 p.m. last night, the bat signal went up and predictably the crime rate began to go down in Gotham and San Francisco.

“I’ve talked a lot about cooperation in the past with other outstanding law enforcement partners, but I can honestly say we broke some new ground today,” said FBI Special Agent in Charge David J. Johnson. “The FBI and the San Francisco Police Department are good, but if it wasn’t for Batkid, I guarantee you that these two villains would still be at-large on the streets of Gotham today. Citizens of this great city are not only safer tonight because of Batkid, but they will undoubtedly be humbled by the courage he has displayed in battles he has taken on and won.”

Talk about grace.

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