Emily Stimpson Saw a Blue Stone Toad in a Baptismal Font at an AmChurch Wedding

Don’t worry though. They weren’t marrying the toad…I think. Though it’s just a matter of time before somebody in AmChurch starts offering sympathetic readings of Advanced Thinker Peter “What’s so Wrong with Bestiality Anyway?” Singer from the pulpit. The Bill Kellers of the world will (perhaps) be happy if the Church bows to the NY Times editorial board, approves marriage between any two consenting vertebrates and adopts “A Frog Went a Courtin’” into the Matrimonial Rite for those who don’t experience same-species attraction.

It can’t happen here, you say? Why, look what happened to Chesterton once the AmChurch guys sent him through the re-education camp.