Gone for the Weekend

While I’m gone, think about how much you miss me and, in a weepy, impulsive fit of raw sentimentality, say to yourself, “He pours his heart out on that blog and I haven’t donated a cent to him or bought a single one of his books! What’s the matter with me? Don’t I care about his sallow, scrawny children with the dark circles under their eyes? Oh the humanity!” Then click on the little bluish PayPal button in the left hand column and quiet your gnawing conscience by giving a tidy sum to this worthy work. Or, if you prefer, click on one of my book titles (also in the left hand column) and shop till you drop. You’ll feel better. Less…guilty. And my children–the pathetic hungry little ones clutching their humble hand-made toys and smiling weakly in gratitude for the smallest favors like the Dickensian little angels they are–will thank you. [sob!]


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