98% Failure Rate

That, according to Mary Beth Bonacci, is what a government study determined last year concerning the effectiveness of condoms in preventing STDs. Imagine any other product promoted as “safe” operating under a 98% failure rate.

Safe! Only 98 out of 100 children slowly strangle to death on this toy!

Experts applaud new “safe” fireworks for keeping 2 out of 100 users from blowing their hands off!

IBM proudly unveils its new energy-efficient Electrocute 333 computer today, which only delivers a deadly twelve amp shock to 98 out of 100 users.

Now the real headline: UN acknowledges condoms don’t work.