Getting up to Speed

Lately, I’ve been getting email from people describing their acts of piety in the “Cult of Rod”. I haven’t quite known what this is all about. Now I see that Rod has laid out his own personal Book of Leviticus for the edification of cult members over in a comments box on Amy’s blog. It reads as follows:

Attention Cult of Rod devotees! You are hereby commanded under pain of excommunication to deliver unto your Guru the following items: 1) a complete collection of “The Simpsons” episodes from seasons three, eight and nine; 2) a bottle of your favorite hot sauce; 3) a case of Zapp’s Crawtators; 4) the keys to your Saab convertible. Be thee well advised, brethren and sistren, that you won’t get into the temple unless you can recite the LSU Tigers “Hot Boudin/Cold Cous-Cous” cheer in flawless Latin. Let the word go forth…

I gotta get me one of them cults. Do you think it would be undignified for a newly minted god to demand free roof repair, an exterminator for a carpenter ant problem in the kitchen and some good chocolate? Or should I hold on that till I’ve filled you with a sense of awe and fear? For now, I will promulgate my Extra Special Cult Chant in the hope it catches on:

Salmon are fish!

Salmon are pretty!

Salmon have scales!

Doo Wah Diddy!

Let me know if you are starting to feel mind-numbed. There’s a lot of home repair I need to get done.