Scholars announced today that the legendary roots of the “Mouse Event” have been definitively proven. In a shocking revelation, a seven hundred year old fresco bearing an uncanny similarity to Mickey Mouse showed definitively that the long-accepted paradigm held by Disney traditionalists was in profound crisis.
According to Disney tradition, Mickey Mouse was “created” by “Walt Disney” c 1928 and leapt into popularity due to the efforts of a team of “cartoonists”. Today’s discovery, however, throws that commonly accepted myth into grave doubt.
“Clearly, the similarities are too great for this to be a coincidence. The entire historicity of the Mouse Event is now open to question,” said Robert Funky, of the Mouse Seminar, in an interview with Larry King earlier today. “Indeed, we would argue that the Mickey we have come to accept today cannot be seriously believed in my any thinking person. And if he is in doubt, what are we to make of the outdated concept of ‘Walt Disney’? Surely nobody today thinks there is a real mustachioed man who can allegedly draw thousands upon thousands of little tiny movie frames that only vary slightly from one another? Give me a break!”
Critics of the traditional Disney account of the origins of Mickey Mouse argue that the historical origins of the famous Mouse are shrouded in mystery, and probably find roots in such diverse sources as fairy tales, myth and legend. They agree with each other that it is simply impossible to trace the Mouse Event back to something as simplistic as “Walt Disney.”
“Oh, it’s a servicable enough notion for children and simple folks, I suppose.” said John Dominic Hotcrossbun, who who holds the Iscariot Chair in Comparative Cartooning at RuPaul University, “but those of us who are truly educated can’t accept such things at face value any more. This fresco simply lends weight to our theories.”