NEW TAPE MAY MEAN AL GORE IS ALIVE
Intelligence Analysts Studying Chilling ‘Today Show’ Appearance
A videotape purporting to show former Vice President Al Gore appearing on NBC’s “Today Show” with Katie Couric to promote a new book is the strongest evidence to date that Mr. Gore may be alive, intelligence sources said today.
While the former Democratic standard bearer had been virtually invisible since the 2000 election, leading many to believe that he had disappeared for good, the “Today Show” tape offered chilling proof that he may in fact be alive and could be threatening to run for President again.
U.S. intelligence analysts were said to be closely examining the tape to determine if the person sitting on Ms. Couric’s couch is in fact Mr. Gore, but were withholding a final verdict until further analysis could be performed.
“The person on the tape could very well be Al Gore,” said a source familiar with the videotape. “On the other hand, it could also be a full-sized wooden puppet painted to resemble Al Gore.”
The source said that the process of authenticating the tape was made more difficult by the fact that it is “almost impossible” to tell the difference between Mr. Gore and a full-sized wooden puppet, the chief difference being that a wooden puppet is “slightly more animated.”
Intelligence analysts are comparing the “Today Show” tape to tapes of Mr. Gore’s 2000 debates to determine if in fact Mr. Gore is alive, as some Democratic strategists fear he may be.
“What’s tricky about this is that after looking at the tapes of the debates, it’s not clear that Al Gore was alive back in 2000, either,” the source said.
UPDATE: I did not write this. Somebody sent it in an email and I posted it. There was no attribution, but you might check Scrappleface or the Onion and see if it came from there. I’m not as funny as whoever wrote this. Sorry for the confusion!