Blessed with a Sad Sack Face and a Convincing Story to Match?

You could be Big Media’s “Go To Gal” for the next carefully polished Tale O’Woe.

Auditions will be held next Tuesday! The lucky winner will earn a coveted place in the Rolodexes of every major network! You’ll be featured again and again as the pathetic “Man/Woman on the Street Threatened by Evil Conservatives!” You’ll know fame, stardom, and the whining sound of your own voice!

And, if you act now, you can also win the chance to be the enthusiastic “Man on the Street Picked at Random from the Crowd!” This five year contract (currently held by our last lucky winner, Greg Packer) will allow you to be chosen again and again as Just an Average Joe by any and all of the Big Media.

Action McNews: Manufacturing Reality to Sell Shampoo