Hey Lighten Up, Man! It’s Just Catholics They are Lying About

…it’s not like they are human or anything.

Cardinal with touching faith in journalistic integrity naively expects accurate reporting from large media source. Editors listen with furrowed brow, say, “Excuse me for a moment”, walk into office, close door, and burst out laughing.

Oddly, they’ve issued no retraction.

Update: Wimpy Ombudsman cops out with dishwatery “Lots of perspectives. What will happen in the long run remains to be seen” blather.