Yesterday, I returned from my sojourn in the East, full of satisfaction over the forging of new links with potentates, poobahs, and principalities in the regions near the Levers of Power, Washington, DC. Having spun my webs of fear and deceit and sped my rise to the summits of Power–Absolute POWER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!–I was happy to return home to the Dark Tower for a pleasant afternoon of brooding and reception of groveling minions.
Well, *who* should be in town yesterday but John Granger, the Hogwarts Professor himself? Naturally, he felt drawn by the raw radiance of my magnetic evilness to gravitate to the outer ramparts of my fortress of solitude, where some of my patrols picked him up and delivered him to my shadowy presence for questioning–and a nice little lunch with the family.
John turns out to be a wonderfully energetic and engaged guy, bubbling with ideas and fascinating literary insights on various pop culture phenomena (he was actually in the state for the annual “Twilight” conference that is held in (where else?) Forks and he had some fascinating insights into the passing strange tickings of the mind of Stephanie Meyers. He also had all sorts of interesting stuff to say on matters ranging from Harry Potter, to the invasion of Okinawa, to the sacramental understanding of food. I very much enjoyed his company and wished I’d had more time to spend with him before he
escaped left. On the bright side, before his hasty departure (undertaken when my incompetent Interrogator-in-Chief had his back turned) I managed to obtain a signed copy of Harry Potter’s Bookshelf, a look at the Rowling’s literary sources and influences which I found most diverting as my Interrogator was being fed to the crocodiles in my dungeon.
So: your mission, my minions, is to obtain a copy of this fine book (signature optional, as we are feeling clement today) and read it. Also, an essay on the warm, human side of Lord Voldemort would be nice.