DADT (Don’t Attack Double Tubbies) Repealed!

A military reader points out this glorious affirmation of Jolly Pride:

Now that’s what I’m talking about! The Army needs to make a special point of recruiting the Out and Stout in order to maintain proper levels of Jolly Affirmation. Clearly, it’s more important that the right percentage of those with Appetite Diversity feel Included by the military than that some silly notion of “battle readiness” dominate the thinking of these dinosaurs who supposedly “defend America” while utterly failing to recognize that obesity, like other “disordered” appetites *is* a core value that America stands for! How can we respect a military that *excludes* 74.1% of Americans!

If we are going to have a military that Looks Like America, then Jolly Americans need full representation and the Army needs to focus its energies making me feel good about my appetites! I must be *celebrated* and what I do with my appetites in my spare time needs to become the topic of everybody’s conversation and the object of their adulation! That’s what the military is for!