Who Does *Not* Need Shea Vision?

I submit that all mankind needs this.

  • http://thepulp.it/ Tito Edwards

    If it makes my hair grow back, I’m in!

  • Brian

    I had a Shea Vision recently. I was out in the wilderness, indiscriminately eating wild mushrooms, as is my wont, when my body was wracked with pain and nausea, and I fell, convulsing, to my back, as is also my wont. When I opened my eyes, I beheld a head, coming towards me out of the sun, and lo, it was ring’d round with hair, both above and below. It opened its mouth, and I trembled, but the voice, like unto one I have heard on Ave Maria radio, spake, saying:

    “Fear not! I am one with the Jolly Consciousness! You really shouldn’t be eating mushrooms you can’t identify, you know! Didn’t the Boy Scouts teach you anything?”

    At this I wondered, and answered “Only a terrible fear of complex knots and balsa wood! Have mercy on me, great one! How might I be cleansed, the better to serve the Jolly?”

    Then did the face smile at me. At least, I think it smiled. The whole world was going kind of wobbly at that point. It said


    Then I came to, lying in a pool of my own vomit. As is my wont.

    • Mark Shea

      You’d be amazed at how often that happens.

  • Dr. Eric

    I wanna know what Shea Butter is. Or, maybe I don’t. :-o

    • Mark Shea

      Let’s just say that the 60 pounds I’ve lost has been put to good use.

  • http://moralmindfield.wordpress.com Brian Green

    I’m so glad I clicked to read the comments on this! You are all so funny. :)