Kids! Do you want riches untold and awesome power?

Then you should think about a career as a Catholic writer or founder of a Catholic apostolate! You can make literally hundreds of dollars!

Here’s a testimony from the fabulously rich and powerful Sherry Weddell, who is practically a household word in her household. Responding to the a reader who accuses her of vast profiteering (on the basis of what the voices in his head tell him) she writes:

Reminds me of the Jewish guy I sat next to on a plane to JFK. As we circled Manhattan, we had this exchange:

JG: What do you do?
SW: (thinking desperately how to describe what I do to JG) I run a non-profit that helps people recognize how they have been gifted by God for the sake of others.
JG: YOU! You’re interesting!
SW: Huh?
JG: Do you believe in this Jesus guy?
SW: Yes.
JG: Me, you may have figured out I’m Jewish.
SW: Aha
JG: So how much do you charge for one of these workshops? $25,000?
SW: (Snort) I’m Catholic.
JG: (sympathetically) Oh. Too bad . . . Do you think I’m fat

Enter the high stakes, big money world of Catholic writing and ministry, and you can have exciting encounters like this too! I wield awesome power as (I am informed by various readers) a “former Protestant pastor” who “has his own television show” and who “makes a fortune in Catholic publishing” as well as “trying to turn the Church into a protestant sect” and (with the foul temptress Sherry Weddell) is currently engaged in an effort to have her appointed “Cardinal Bishop Wendell” (the fake name is for security purposes. Astute Pewsitters know these things because, as I am informed, women are all empty-headed gossips who can’t keep any secrets).

Such power as I possess is yours for the taking if only you are willing to be as ruthless as I have been in… um, writing a bunch of stuff that people read, for which I receive modest pay. There is, of course, nothing more sinister than a Catholic writer being paid modestly for his work. What could be more subversive? And Weddell? You’ll notice she never answered the Jewish guy’s question. What is she hiding? Is there no end to her fiendish schemes? So: if you are bent on mammon and perversion of the faith, look no further than the exciting and sinister underworld of “Catholic writing and non-profit ministry”.

  • Consistency

    You have to deliberately state something you know to be untrue for it to be a lie. This is beyond basic.

    • Mark Shea

      Sadly, Bruce can no longer post here under my patented “Jerks and ignorami do not have free speech on my blog” rule. Jerks who wish to denounce me on their own blog are welcome to do so, but I do not owe jackasses a forum for unlimited insults and clueless fact-free pronouncements about me and people I like.

  • victor

    So you ARE pro-moolah, then?

    • Mark Shea

      Nyuk nyuk!

  • Ted Seeber

    I still want to know what blogging for Patheos pays, and how to get into this gig. Since of course, OutsideTheAutisticAsylum.Blogspot.Com has yet to turn even a penny’s worth of google adwords into checks.

  • http://confederatepapist.blogspot.com/ Confederate Papist

    Hundreds?? Wow…I was thinking more like 5′s and 10′s…..where do I sign up???

  • http://ohnimus.wordpress.com Christian Ohnimus

    To answer you question: already do. My daily hit counter of literally many dozens can attest to this.

  • William

    My wife and I got into Catholic education for the big bucks!

  • Brent

    Mark, we know you barely make ends meat, so I have no problem supporting you. But you can’t say that founders of apostolates can’t/don’t make money. Karl Keating, founder of non-profit Catholic Answers, has been pullin’ in way over $200K/year for the last few years. Just look at Catholic Answers’ tax records. He’s probably near $300K/year nowadays as I checked the records about 5 years ago and he was around $225K/year back then! Not saying he isn’t deserving of the money with an attorney background and the size of his ministry, but he’s not doing too shabby and probably more than I’ll ever make.

    • Mark Shea

      Such things are pretty rare (and, I agree, I think Karl is worth every dime he earns).

      • dpt

        “Then you should think about a career as a Catholic writer or founder of a Catholic apostolate! You can make literally hundreds of dollars!”

        Please clarify…is this amount before or after taxes?

        • Mark Shea

          Heh.

    • Sal

      I get a royalty check from Catholic Answers every quarter from contributing to an anthology of convert stories. Hilarity ensues as we guess the amount before opening it- will it run to a sandwich from Subway? or just a cup of coffee?
      Not the way to make a living, but fun just the same.

  • Sherry Weddell

    Folks – let us turn our attention to our betters – the government’s standard to see what the Church should aspire to.

    For instance, the General Services Administration training for 300:

    The inspector general’s report on the GSA “Western Regions” training conference showed the government spent more than $822,000 for the 300 attendees, including $75,000 on team building exercises, $6,000 on commemorative coins and $6,000 on canteens, keychains and T-shirts.

    What I particularly liked was the $100,000 spent on “scouting” the location.

  • http://susielloyd.sophiainstitute.com Susie Lloyd

    Oh my heavens. Greg and I are some hot duo then. He runs a non-profit complete with missed paychecks and hours that include midnight drooling into the keyboard. I write for the conservative/trad homeschool/miniscule Catholic niche. My royalty checks are a disgrace to the word royalty. But we are both richly gifted in the sport of dollar stretching. And all our children are above average.

  • http://cathyadamkiewicz.blogspot.com Cathy

    As a Catholic writer who has a day job working for a Catholic non-profit, I am so broke I can’t even pay attention. :)

  • http://lorielizabethphotography.com Lori

    I loved this! A group of us who help run a local pregnancy crisis center were just having a meeting last week and explaining to a new volunteer that our charity is probably one of the only ones where you PAY to volunteer. We just can’t help ourselves =)

  • http://socrates58.blogspot.com/ Dave Armstrong

    Classic! I’m so poor as a Catholic apologist (full-time) that I’m not even ACCUSED of being rich . . . LOL

    We can also hear nonsense from the other extreme: e.g., Ive been told (byb folks who don’t know the slightest thing about my situation) that I’m financially abusing my family; forcing my wife at gunpoint to go along with my worthless, irresponsible shenanigans and “self-appointed” calling, etc. Right.

    I futilely tried to provide relevant facts to folks who made such charges (stuff like having great credit, paying my mortgage, hardly ever using credit cards); all to no avail, of course. It’s like trying to send a pea the wrong way through hurricane winds.

    All we can do is laugh at the charity- and logic-challenged mentality that espouses these notions, and that is exactly what you did. Kudos, Mark!

    A blessed Easter to you and all reading.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X