News you can use

What are the optimal siege tactics for taking the Magic Kingdom’s Cinderella Castle?

I believe in Just War, so I think this should be done immediately.

  • ivan_the_mad

    The link is lazy, and keeps serving me up an Error 404 rather than the desired article.

  • Ted Seeber

    I’m getting a 404 error as well.

    Given that, the modern weapon that ended the military usefulness of thick stone walls, was the cannon; which used gunpowder to pound them into rubble.

    I should also think ladders would come in handy.

  • Dave G.

    Yep, didn’t get anything from the link on my part.

  • Joshua Fahey
    • Ted Seeber

      WOW. But if you’re not going to limit yourself to old fashioned weaponry, why use infantry at all when Drones can Do Anything?

      • Tarcisius

        To capture it rather than level it. Hold Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty et. al. hostage and force Mickey to bow to your demands, hopefully before they send in the Wile E. Cyote Hostage Rescue Team.

  • http://www.theleenmachine.blogspot.com KML

    I vote for Donald Duck’s smallpox-ridden body, flung over the gates by the Dumbo ride.

    • http://stevenadunn.wordpress.com Steven Dunn

      I doff my hat to you, good sir.

  • Chris M

    As an Orlando native, I’ve always thought it would be tons of fun if they shut Disney down for a week and allowed the entire property to be divided up into a gigantic paintball warzone.

  • Hezekiah Garrett

    Dress as employees and characters and flash mob them. From all over, get thousands to come on the same day, infiltrate the utilidors, befriend the grunts that man the park, win their trust, get security codes, mag strips etc from turncoat grunts.

    Keep the park open at all times! Your enemy cannot defend himself in front of the tourists. He has to sit and watch you do what you wish, if there are enough of you. Truncheonings on Main Street USA just wouldnt look good.

    • Chris M

      wouldn’t work. I know lots of security folks out there and they can use the tunnel system like the VietCong to counterattack wherever there’s a breach. Now I’m picturing Mickey in black pajamas and Ho Chi Minh sandals with a straw hat and AK.. heh.

  • Dave Pawlak

    My favorite part:

    While in Fantasyland we will have the opportunity to take down the menace of all parents everywhere. The “It’s a Small World” ride will be within our reach. Our secondary objective is to eliminate the ride with extreme prejudice. This isn’t a capture mission like the castle, but one of complete annihilation. Expect heavy casualties as their adorable repetitiveness burns into your skulls like white phosphorous in the jungle. Our sacrifices will be great, but our suffering is in the name of protecting others.

    • http://thecrawfordfamily.net/blog Ken Crawford

      Me too Dave. (oh, that’s not long enough, is it long enough now?)

    • Ted Seeber

      If you liked that, you’d love this:
      http://dmdb.org/lyrics/real.world.html

  • Observer

    Does anyone understand what allegiance pirates have? None, if I’m not mistakened. Get gold, get vast amounts of it and promise lots and lots of it to them, and have a coo of them map out the underground territory to lay seize of the castle from the entry point of the Carbbean. Better yet send some of our best men dressed as pirates and infiltrate. Once the battle is in play, psychology w-a-rfare when they realize “It’s Not A Small World Afterall.”


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X