Just a reminder

My blog is a benevolent tyranny.  I welcome comments and have hundreds of them every day, many of them disagreeing with me about all kinds of stuff.  However, I do not owe you a forum.  You have no fundamental right to speak here for which our ancestors bled and died, just as you have no right to walk into my living room and start telling me I’m fat, the food stinks, and my kids are ugly.  You can, if you please, get your own blog and hold forth on all these important views and I will not stop you since I believe in free speech.  I just don’t believe that I owe you unlimited free speech in my living room.  I’m up for a good argument and have hosted thousands of them here.  But I draw the line at underwriting jerkishness.

So: If you find that your comments are winding up in a ban file, don’t immediately console yourself with the heartwarming fiction that Shea Just Can’t Handle the Truth from a Bold Prophet like Me.  Shea gets all sorts of disagreement and criticism in his comboxes every day.

Since this is so, other factors must be at work if you are finding your posts banned.  The number one fact is typically “You are acting like an abrasive jerk and I’m tired of listening to you.”  If you lack the capacity for self-reflection to entertain the possibility that you are an abrasive jerk then it’s probably best if you fire off one last dramatic gust of dudgeon for the ban file and go find some place where jerks are welcome, such as a chat board for Timid Enablers of Drunken Wife Beaters.  You’ll be right at home there as you pursue that winning trademark combination of bullying and self-pity.

On the other hand, if you are capable of self-reflection and of considering the possibility that you are banned, not because Yours Is a High and Lonely Destiny of Speaking Truth to Power, but because you are a rude jerk and I don’t owe you a forum, then you might have a future here if you write me, apologize, and ask to be reinstated.  Your call.  Meanwhile, don’t imagine that your huffy dudgeon will give me a minute’s pause, or that your accusations of censorship will draw from me anything but a wry and crooked Harrison Ford sort of smile and the barest puff of air from my nostrils as I snort  in derision at your self-importance and continue my very busy day.

Bottom line: Comments are welcome.  So are disagreements and arguments.  But don’t be an rude jerk or you are gone.  My blog.  My rules.

End of lecture.  Back to the fun!

  • Hermann

    Disagree!

    Just to get my comment put in the “ban box” !!!!!!

    Where do you keep it BTW?

    Shalom
    Hermann

    • Leo

      “Where do you keep it BTW?”

      In his closet, right next to his box of tortured souls.

  • JB
  • Jordan Henderson

    A twist on a question we often see in these parts:

    “Just exactly how abrasive can I be and still keep out of the ‘ban box’?”

    • Mark Shea

      Heh! “What *is* abrasiveness, you fat pedophile protector? I’m soooooo confused, you tin-plated liberal sodomite!! Define your terms, you arrogant reactionary triumphalist!!!” :)

      • http://manwithblackhat.blogspot.com David L Alexander

        I remember this from a Monty Python film. You remember, the scene with the French guys on that island. You sure you didn’t get it mixed up with that?

      • Andy, Bad Person

        I think I’ll wait until I hear from Rome over the definition of “abrasiveness,” thankyouverymuch. Since I haven’t read anything from the Vatican that defines “abrasion,” then you are way out of line for defending it.

        Have fun being holier than the Pope, Mark.

        • Gary Keith Chesterton

          Anything infallible, you mean.

          • Andy, Bad Person

            True. Until the Pope says, “Peter says, ‘Andy is abrasive,’” then Mark is clearly just squashing speech where we can Agree to Disagree.

            Because he’s a Nazi Communist.

            • Mark Shea

              And a suspected sodomite pro-Obama secret abortion supporter. Don’t forget that.

              • Jordan Henderson

                Thanks for the reminder!

                (am I banned yet?)

              • Andy, Bad Person

                I agree except for the “suspected” part.

  • Barbara B.

    I like your method of to keep comments civil, rather than banning them altogether, as has been done on other blogs.

  • http://catholiccinephile.wordpress.com/ Evan

    Well, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. I blow my nose at you, so called Dark Lord, you and all your min-EE-ons. Now agree with my bold prophecy, or I shall taunt you a second time.

    • Will

      Brave Sir Evan ran away,
      Bravely ran away, away.
      When danger reared its ugly head,
      He bravely turned his tail and fled.
      Brave, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Even.

      • http://catholiccinephile.wordpress.com/ Evan

        No, I didn’t. I never did. Oh, you liar.

        That is, if we can even know what *lying* is. Otherwise, mind your own business you son of a silly person.

  • Steve P

    I’ve been looking for just this sort of thing for a greeting card. May I borrow it?

    “On the other hand, if you are capable of self-reflection and of considering the possibility that you are banned, not because Yours Is a High and Lonely Destiny of Speaking Truth to Power, but because you are a rude jerk and I don’t owe you a forum, then you might have a future here if you write me, apologize, and ask to be reinstated.  Your call.  Meanwhile, don’t imagine that your huffy dudgeon will give me a minute’s pause, or that your accusations of censorship will draw from me anything but a wry and crooked Harrison Ford sort of smile and the barest puff of air from my nostrils as I snort  in derision at your self-importance and continue my very busy day.”

  • Ipsitilla

    (This calls for a “Quixotic” gesture, methinks:)

    Hear me now, future followers, readers, and fans
    Listen well to the words that I say:
    For it seems there’s a bothersome hitch in my plans
    To take over the blog of Mark Shea!

    I’m some guy with a keyboard, the lord of the combox!
    I rant so that others can see,
    And you all are entitled to have my opinions
    Whatever so ever they be
    Whatever so ever they be
    So much for obscurity!

    I may not be an expert in HTML,
    And my prose may be lacking in flair;
    But I’ve got something big that I’m aching to tell
    Getting stalled by your Failure to Care!

    I’m some guy with a keyboard, the lord of the combox!
    A platform is all that I need
    Mr. Shea, you have proven an unworthy vessel,
    Whatever the gist of my screed
    Whatever the gist of my screed,
    So, all his readers, take heed!

    • http://manwithblackhat.blogspot.com David L Alexander

      Well, Mark, at least we’re writing poetry for you. What more do you want from us, O Great One?

  • http://creativefidelity.wordpress.com Dan F.

    Mark, it’s threads like this that make me think that you have the best minions (er.. readers) on St. Blogs.

  • http://www.sherryantonettiwrites.blogspot.com Sherry

    Go away for a day and miss all the good stuff….shoot.

  • Chris M

    You really ought to save all the banned comments and then, some day, do a post of the top 10 howlers.

  • JB

    This song could be slightly adjusted to “Emperor of the Combox”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shPb7uIf3Tg

  • http://acricketchirps.blogspot.com acricketchirps

    I don’t think your food stinks, Mark.

  • JB

    “it’s probably best if you fire off one last dramatic gust of dudgeon”

    Okay, here’s my list of demands of Mark, and my reproaches to Mark:

    1. Apologise for everything.
    2. Repent until I’m satisfied.
    3. (Paraphrasing the letter of Chinese Emperor Qian Long to King George III of England c. 1790): I am mindful of your pitiful situation in your barbarian land far beyond the waste of seas (well you’re far from Australia), therefore you cannot be held guilty for your prior ignorance of the Will of Heaven. Now tremble and obey!
    4. You are a fellow-traveller of the pre-Sedevacantist sect of the followers of the father of Byzantine Emperor Romanus I (tenth century), Theophylact the Unbearable. Repent! (BTW “Theophylact the Unbearable” was his real name, although I made up his leading a heretical cult. Sorry. Wait, not I’m not!)
    5. You are a fellow-traveller of the Homintern. You have never repudiated Judy Garland. Repent!
    6. Jews. Need I say more?
    7. Cooties!

    • Will

      DEFINE HERESY! Why should we listen to you when you can’t even give a definition of heresy?

      • JB

        DEFINE DEFINITION!

    • Mark Shea

      I stand rebuked before the justice of your words.

  • Confederate Papist

    Perhaps if you put a little speck of meat into the gruel we wouldn’t be so abrasive….it may be protein deficiency…

  • HBanan

    I am right and you are wrong, doodah, doodah!
    You are wrong and I am right, O the Doodah Day!
    Arguin’ all night, arguin’ all day
    Check my logic; it’s impeccable.
    Bet you’ve got nothing to say!


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