The Madness of Thomas Kinkade

Who knew the Painter of Light and H.P Lovecraft were brothers under the skin?

It is the pervasive acceptance of and clamor for the materialistic manifestations of Kinkade’s rather limited artistic vision the sanctification, if you will, of his penchant for depopulated and nonsensical rural scenery that serves to only increase the hair-lifting horror that lurks beneath his sun-dappled streams and glowing rustic manses.

Yes, horror. Horror of the worst kind, the horror wrought from juxtaposing innocuous items or idyllic surroundings with sudden ghastly consequences. The kind of thought-erasing horror that comes from watching a huge cylindrical brush used in an automatic car wash smash through your windshield. The kind of throat-parching, temple-pounding, sweaty-knees horror that comes from watching the stitched simpleton’s smile on a Raggedy Ann doll suddenly gape open into a bloody drooling leer.

Surprisingly, this was not written by Simcha Fisher.

  • MikeTheGeek

    A large percentage of Kinkade’s paintings cluster around disturbingly quiescent bodies of water, beneath the miroired surface of which the viewer projects endless unseen monstrosities lurking from the dawn of time. One expects to see many-suckered tentacles sliding quietly onto the faux-bucolic countryside which trembles in terrified expectation of its imminent fate.

  • David K. Monroe

    I understand that it’s satire, and I have no real love for Kinkade’s work, but this is something like the third article I’ve read trying to read some dark undercurrent into what are basically just kitschy marketable pictures, and it’s getting pretty close to voiding on a man’s grave.

  • Ted Seeber

    It’s satire so I can’t be too critical, but couldn’t he at least have supported his main thesis by choosing among the many paintings with no people in them, rather than have two out of the three he put in the article have people?

  • Scott W.

    If you love cheesy pastel Catholic art and statues that look like candied sugar, you probably shouldn’t bitch about Kinkade.

  • Ed the Roman

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Kinkade R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.


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