If you were to die tonight…

…why should the Dark Lord let you into Mordor?


If you can’t answer my question, then listen to this gentleman carefully.  He has, well, not *good* news exactly but…. exciting… news: “Sauron hates you and has a horrifying plan for your life.  You cannot earn his fathomless malice and hatred.  He freely gives it without cost and without any merit on your part.  You have only to accept it, despair, and enter into a shadowy, endless universe of torment and emptiness, a slave to his dominating will.”

A message from the World Council of Dark Lords.

  • Gary Keith Chesterton

    “Not a sermon, just a thought.”

  • beccolina

    I so want to dress up like that, stand on the corner, and use that line. I am not tall enough to pull it off, though. Hey Mr. Shea, the newest priest in our diocese is also a Shea, who looks like he would fit right in with your clan. A distant relative, perchance?

    • Mark Shea

      Not that I know of, but you never know!

  • Ingvar

    Hmm, that picture might have been taken in Toronto. There was a sci-fi fan convention here this summer. But that’s a great line. I’ll have to see if I can adapt that to some of the catechism classes I teach.

    • current lector

      Hey, definitely Toronto. I’d recognize that transit stop pole anywhere.
      Perhaps that guy’s actually campaigning for the mayoralty. We have civic sede vacante here.

    • CC

      Definitely Toronto. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere along the Spadina streetcar line.

  • Ted Seeber

    The other day I saw a guy at the bus stop clearly exploring the occult. He was wearing a cape (almost a robe) and upside down pentagram necklace, and he seemed to be trying to cast spells on the MAX trains going by. Or maybe just their passengers.

    Near as I could tell, the spells were having no effect whatsoever.

    • jcb

      Well, you know, practice makes perfect.

  • B.E. Ward

    Looks like something they would have done on Trigger Happy TV. The best show no one watched.


  • shanaofs

    Tracts are OK to take, just don’t accept any gold rings with strange script on ‘em.

    • http://lolbamas.com/ DRH

      “Strange writing”????

      That’s it. I’m turning you in to the Elvish Anti-Defamation League.

  • http://www.elections.ca/content.aspx?section=pol&dir=par&document=index&lang=e Jack

    I believe in Saruman, but Sauron is just a myth.

    • Mark Shea

      Sauron, Saruman… they all believe the same thing anyway.

  • j. blum

    But Morgoth is the guy behind the guy.