…be Troll! I hereby do plead for the return of the Troll to the blogosphere. The eerie silence since November 12 cries out to be filled with the inimitable prose stylings of the Troll! Return to us, Troll! We love you!
Until we have a decent troll, shall I play act at one to give everyone a nice wave of nostalgia? I can kinda troll:
You know the Catholic Church is just rehashing of paganism, mainly sun god worship, right? You all just want to burn atheists like you burned all the witches in Salem. There were TONS of women priests in the early church, just ask Dan Brown!
(Please hurry, trolls. I can’t keep this up much longer.)
Don’t forget about The Church trying to block scientific progress throughout its history 😉
I’ll give a shot at trolling:
The early church permitted gay marriage and the church changed its position on abortion in 1920. (I actually heard the latter this weekend.) The Church is a just a control mechanism to institutionalize patriarchy. You all blindly follow whatever the Church tells you, while we atheists have created a perfectly fine morality from science and have a scientific explanation for everything — you just can’t handle the truth so you invent your fairy-tale religion. Grow up and get with the program!
DID YOU KNOW THE CHIRCH BERNED LITRALLY MILIONS OF WITCHS? I KNOW BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE DA VINCI CODE. ONLY CATHOLICS BURNRD WITCHS NOT PROTESTANTS ANF THERE WERE LITERALLY MILIONS. YOU WOULD BE SET ON FIRE JUST FOR BEING A MIDWIFE. ITS TROO.
Can I play? Galileo, something, something, bad church, trial, something else, don’t confuse me with facts.
The rise of education and courtly love in Europe was inspired by the Muslims in Spain! They enlightened those brutish, stupid Catholics who oppressed women, science, the arts, etc. We should be GLAD they invaded Spain, and sorry they didn’t make it to the rest of Europe.
Heard a version of that this weekend too.
Be careful what you wish for.
It was the Catholic Church that burned all the trolls.
OK…what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What? Wait… I don’t know thAAAAAAAAAAAAERRRGGHHHH!!!
Trolling, huh? Let me give it a try: I’m so smart cuz I don’t believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster/fairies/old man in the sky like those stoopid Christians!
Maybe you banned them all
I’ve always admired and envied those with enough thickness of skin to actually find trolling amusing. I’m far too prone to take things too personally myself.
What are you some kind of sick bigot against people with thick skin?!?! You vile wretch! How can you even go around with the name of Stephen?!? You vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert! ; )
Folks, none of this is going to help anyone longing for the musings of a TRADDIE troll, which is what Mark’s hero is. You need to think in terms of the details of the Societies of Pope Pius X, Pope Pius V, even Pope Pius I. You know how even Natural Family Planning is a sin. You need to be talking about the ups and downs of Pope Michael I. How your dead grandmother went to hell because she supported Vatican II. Stuff like that.
I do agree with Mark that the guy is a conic genius. Even the comments in his comboxes read sometimes like he wrote them himself. Like the comment of the guy who wrote that he had founded a society for the true traditional faith of which he was the only member, to ensure complete orthodoxy. Then he found that he had departed from the True Faith and had to split off from himself.
I wish I could come up with original stuff like that to comfort Mark – but I’m no comic genius. Maybe someone else can try.
You underestimate yourself, “conic genius” indeed. Perhaps the cone rises up to a point at the very top of his head?
Lori – you’re missing the point of the blog. The first couple posts I read got me pretty worked up. Then I had a ” wait a minute. This guy has his hamster contribute to posts…”- moment and it all opened up.
If you like trolls, I would recomment Norway. They have trolls all over the place!
I completely agree with Mark that we need more of this guy. He is a satirical genius. If you take the blog as a whole, I’ve never seen better contemporary satire. Anywhere, on any subject. He can show disdain for what you know he loves and love for what you know he disdains. It’s balanced and it just works. It’s my favorite site. Well, maybe it’s the site I appreciate the most. It’s art.
To all the above commenters who obviously missed the point about trolling, do yourself a favor and start going through that site’s archives.
Alright, this anonymous man-crush is starting to get unseemly. I’ll stop.
I long with all my heart and soul A post from any traddie troll. A troll with dogma like my Dad’s A scourge to all those librul cads.
Someone to make the Pope real proud To chase away the modern crowd To clean up all those shoddy hymns Where guitars sound like clanking tins
Dear Lord, I pray to Thee today If thou could find it in some way Please send a troll to to our dear Mark Before a Vogon tries rhyming dogma
I can’t do traddie trolling. I have seen it, it just doesn’t resonate with anything within me. Sry. There are no substitutions.
Why does this blog tolerate women who wear PANTS???!!!
If that doesn’t bring on the nostalgia, nothing will!
YOU PUTRID SCUM!!
If he misses trolls, our gratiuos host/dread overlord Couls head over to Fremont and see the troll there. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2236
I hadn’t seen that blog, it’s brilliant, thanks.