This reminds me!

Advent being a time of penitential suffering, I need to get going with the annual serial posting of the Star Wars Holiday Special.

No. You needn’t thank me. I know exactly how you feel. If I can bring unbearable pain into just one minion’s life, I know my day ain’t been in vain fer nuthin’. That I can inflict unspeakable anguish on so many is a gift beyond my desserts. But I will try to use that gift for evil and not for good. It’s what we Dark Lords do.

A spiritual experience as profound, wrenching, and awful as the Star Wars Holiday Special can’t be endured all at once. It must be doled out in pieces so as to prolong the agony. And it must end at just the right moment so that Christmas will truly be experienced as sweet release from the pain. I think December 24 is a fitting Final Day for the last segment.

So let me hereby announce that beginning on December 17, as your Dark Lord, I will be re-posting, in seven parts, the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Today, if you need me, I will be sitting in the penthouse of the Dark Tower, sipping mimosas and listening to the screams of anguish on the Pits of Despair intercom system. It’s fun being me.

  • Will

    … by a bunch of mindless jerks who were first up against the wall when the Empire was declared.

  • Kelly Franklin, Doctoral Candidate in English

    I look forward to the “tauntaunnabulation” of the bells this Christmas. . . it’s always been a season where I delight in the comforts of Hoth and home. . .

    • ivan_the_mad

      “tauntaunnabulation” Ha! I’m thinking of Tatooine that on my forehead.

  • MClark

    With the nw blog format we only see about five lines of text for each blog post. So your plot to foist the holiday special on us are foiled!

  • Anne B.

    We got a copy of this a couple of years ago, with Mike and the bots doing the riffing (which is the only way to get through it.) It’s become our Thanksgiving tradition.

    Dunno about Mark’s version, but ours was obviously taped straight off someone’s TV, so all the commercials are there – food, toys, cars, and that “Look for the Union Label” song. My kids think these are far weirder than the show itself.

  • bob

    I just read about that production. I had no idea how it makes the cast members writhe when they’re reminded of it, that Carrie Fisher demanded a copy of it as a condition of doing voice-overs for a Star Wars DVD collection. It seems to deserve the word “unique” as well as everything else said about it.

  • Joe

    Yay! The Star Wars Christmas Special! I can’t wait!

  • Loretta

    Bring on Light Day!