You Think You Know Someone and Then They Are Suddenly a Stranger to You

So I post this on Facebook:

What better way to say “I love you” this Valentine’s Day than with the gift of bacon roses?
I'm craving bacon roses :)

And to my utter astonishment this conversation unfolds:

Sherry Weddell: I know it sounds impossible . . . but I could live without ever eating bacon again.

Mark Shea: Who are you and what have you done with Sherry Weddell?

Sherry Weddell: Mark: how long have we been friends and we’ve never had the bacon conversation . . .

Sherry Weddell: Which shows how important a conversation it was . . .

Mark Shea: No disciple of Robert Farrar Capon can be indifferent on the subject of bacon. What sort of kidnapping and medical experimentation have they been performing on you in the Cheyenne Mountain Stargate facility there in Colorado Springs? WHO ARE YOU REALLY? Am I speaking to a Go’auld?

Sherry Weddell: I don’t recall any recipes in the Supper of the Lamb (Not the Supper of the Pig!) that contained bacon. Chocolate. Heavy whipping cream. Lamb. I remember them well. But bacon??? Methinks the clogs in your arteries have gone to your head . . .

Mark Shea: If your eyes start glowing on our next Skype call, I am totally calling in a drone strike on your house. Earth must defend itself from the eldritch horror from beyond the stars.

Pray for Sherry’s safe return to us from whatever alien technology has enslaved her mind and heart.

  • Sherry Weddell

    Oh dear, Mark. You must have been desperate for blogging material . . . Now sausage would be another
    matter altogether!

  • Noah D

    I could live without ever eating bacon again.

    Those are English words, but I don’t understand that sentence.

    • rakowskidp

      I do. I’m with Sherry. And I’m very odd, it seems! I’ve only met one other non-vegetarian who agrees with me.

      • Kristen inDallas

        At about 12 I decided I didn’t like any pork. Went totally vegetarian at 26. I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore after rediscovering bacon at 28. :)

    • Dale Price

      Agreed. Maybe if you rearrange the letters there is a hidden meaning. At a minimum, it is a cry for help.

  • Julie

    I could do without bacon but not without sausage with pancakes and syrup. Especially the chewy kind of bacon you could roll into roses. Ick. I like mine crisp.

  • Beccolina

    I second crisp bacon, and I do not understand wasting perfectly good bacon by making it into roses. However, bacon and other saturated animal fat DOES NOT clog arteries. It’s good for you.

  • Robert King

    Acts 10.9-16

    Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, Second Person of the Eternal Trinity, Word of the Father, took on human flesh, suffered, died, and rose from death itself so that we could eat bacon.

    Well, that and the whole eternal salvation and everlasting communion with God in heaven thing. That too.

    • Andy, Bad Person

      Despite the fact that Jesus was a good Jew and probably never ate bacon in His life.

      He was probably saving it all for us. Thanks!

  • Dale Price

    Just a reminder that we live in a fallen world.

    It can be painful to be slapped in the face like that…

  • Martin

    Bacon…no sweat.
    Pilchards…great difficulty.