Somebody named Philip Primeau wrote, with a straight face and full of earnest purpose:
“Vladimir Putin was recently savaged by …Simcha Fisher…”
I don’t care who you are, that right there will leave me giggling for the rest of the day.
But then, as though I had paid him to do it, just to demonstrate Trad Crazy at its finest, he went on from there to defend Truly True Really Real Purely Pure Catholic faith from the Church’s Decree on Religious Liberty in these unforgettable words:
These liberal ideals, such as “freedom of speech” and “freedom of religion,” are sacred to many Catholics, despite the church’s longstanding contempt for such intellectual licentiousness.
I think it is the combination of the longing for brutal authoritarian violence and repression with the whiny butthurt narcissism that makes Traditionalism so deeply attractive to me. With fruits of the Spirit like that, who wouldn’t throw themselves at that subculture and say, “Take me! Command me!”?
Simcha, in her droll way, does the autopsy on this hilarious post. Meanwhile, the inimitable Dale Price kills me with this observation:
Just what the world needed–a *whiny* defense of Vladimir Putin.
“‘Savaged’?! WHO’S THE $%#@&*G APOLOGIST HERE?! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF $%#@&*G CRYBABIES?!?”
Meanwhile, I’m waffling between gratitude and bafflement that Catholic Lane would publish this epic piece of hilarity. I mean, I’m glad for the chance to laugh myself to tears at the image of Simcha Fisher, complete with the “Mother” tattoo on her brawny Rosie the Riveter arm, “savaging” poor St. Vlad. But I do have to wonder what possessed them to run a piece like this in anything besides a section devoted to satirizing the bizarre excesses of Traddery.
Dale also points out that P.J. O’Rourke once satirized the American fascination with Gorbachev in words that can easily be paraphrased to describe the Traddy fascination with holy thugs who, it is hoped, will finally beat back modernity and impose the Faith by firing squads:
“Naughty, naughty nation seeks foreign strongman with dictatorial streak for firm direction and manhandling. No gays. Send foto.”
I defy anybody to tell me the difference between that and Primeau’s argument, which is *directly* repugnant to the teaching of the Church at Vatican II.